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Paul Davidson
Nov 23, 20062 min read
An Open Letter To Everyone At My Thanksgiving Dinner
Dear All of You, First of all, I’d like to say that I’m extremely thankful that I’ll be spending Thanksgiving with you today. Having you...
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Paul Davidson
Jul 29, 20053 min read
Words For <i>Your</i> Enjoyment: Capital Letters
This week, I would like to refrain from mentioning that it is Friday, that there is a new “Words For Your Enjoyment” coming your way, and...
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Paul Davidson
May 23, 20052 min read
Words And Letters That Form Links
Yes, I am a pretty stingy bastard when it comes to providing links at the left of this blog. People like Bryant Gumbel and Luke Perry and...
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Paul Davidson
May 23, 20052 min read
How My Life and The Movie <i>Revenge of the Sith</i> Are One In The Same
Sometimes, it’s not the most positive experience when you realize that your life and an actual motion picture are, in fact, one in the...
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Paul Davidson
May 22, 20052 min read
If I Was Rotting Corpse
Being a living, breathing, rotting corpse would present quite a few problems in my life. Mostly, I think going out with people for dinner...
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Paul Davidson
May 20, 20051 min read
If You’re Reading This, Then My Blogs Ability To Post Entries While I’m In Las Vegas Has
I am in Las Vegas. Yes. Right this minute. As you read this I am probably either sleeping, eating a huge shrimp cocktail the size of my...
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Paul Davidson
May 19, 20052 min read
Words For <i>Your</i> Enjoyment: Plastic Utensils
Them: “Would you like bread and utensils with that?” Me: “Why would I want utensils with that?” Them: “Uh… So you can EAT when you...
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Paul Davidson
May 19, 20052 min read
I Can Still Eat Three Packets of Crackers In Less Than A Minute Without a Glass of Water
It seems as though people don’t believe me when I tell them that I can still eat three packets of crackers in less than a minute without...
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Paul Davidson
May 17, 20051 min read
Words From E3
I am a geek. And in an attempt to celebrate all that is geekiness, I am currently moblogging from a sitting position here at the...
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Paul Davidson
May 17, 20052 min read
Today’s Amusing Middle-Aged Nicotine Addicted Shoplifting Story
I was standing in the candy aisle when the ruckus started. Yes, a ruckus. A big ‘ol, noisy, crazy, arm-shuffling, leg twitching ruckus...
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Paul Davidson
May 15, 20052 min read
Arnold Schwarzenegger’s Latest TV Commercial: The Director’s Cut
Let me set the scene. There’s currently a TV commercial running on California TV. It’s a political commercial that stars Arnold...
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Paul Davidson
May 15, 20053 min read
The Post Where I Finally Give Up on SNL
It just ain’t happenin’, people. Saturday Night Live has basically sucked for a long long long long time. Periodically you get a sketch...
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Paul Davidson
May 14, 20053 min read
I Could Be Your Assassin
I could so be your assassin. Now, let’s just clarify things for a moment here. When I say “I could so be your assassin” I do not mean...
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Paul Davidson
May 13, 20053 min read
Words For <i>Your</i> Enjoyment: Wife Beaters
Alas, greetings to you and yours on this hereth day doth referred to as such. Friday! Hath sadness but opposite, WFME’s resident fat...
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Paul Davidson
May 12, 20052 min read
This Post Will Be All Over The Place
A stream of consciousness, if you will. I was in a supermarket the other day and an African-American man was giving the white kid behind...
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Paul Davidson
May 11, 20052 min read
Revisiting Solicitors, Part 99B
In the immortal words of Ferris Bueller’s Cameron Frye: “They’ll keep callin’… They’ll keep callin’…” And that’s exactly what they do....
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Paul Davidson
May 10, 20054 min read
DM and Me
Sure, you may know Danny Masterson from the popular FOX show That 70’s Show and recognize him for his trademark “fro” of curls. Recently...
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Paul Davidson
May 9, 20053 min read
You May Not Know It, But My Face Isn’t Totally Symmetrical
I have given up obsessing over my head being huge, just so you know. That’s because something much more sinister has appeared on the...
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Paul Davidson
May 9, 20052 min read
The Advantages of Pre-Written Words
When I had finished putting together Consumer Joe, that was the point in time when I had my agents send it out to the world. That was...
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Paul Davidson
May 8, 20051 min read
Today’s Thoughts on Thoughts
I was thinking about thinking, today. You know, the fact that when you think about what you’re thinking — usually, you don’t have much to...
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