An Open Letter To Everyone At My Thanksgiving Dinner

Dear All of You,

First of all, I’d like to say that I’m extremely thankful that I’ll be spending Thanksgiving with you today. Having you share today’s festivities with me is a wonderful thing and I hope that you, too, have a day you’ll never forget. I’d also like to hope that you don’t take both dark meat drumsticks off the turkey plate before asking everyone at the table if they, maybe, want a dark meat drumstick as well. I mean, there are only two dark meat drumsticks. Think about that. If you were sitting at a fancy dinner in a fancy four star restaurant and they brought the bread basket and it was filled with tons of different kinds of bread but only two (2) olive bread slices — would you take both olive bread slices without asking the rest of the table if they maybe wanted one too? Probably not. That’s why you’d better ask before you snag the only two dark meat drumsticks for yourself and before you justify in your head that no one’s eating dark meat these days because of the health reports coming out about dark meat versus white meat. Just ask before you take.

Same goes for the marshmallow topping on top of the sweet potatoes. There’s only just so much marshmallow topping and you can’t take a scoop of sweet potato and enjoy it without a helping of marshmallow topping. And if you did what you did last year where you scoop some sweet potato and then scoop up a bunch of marshmallow off the top of other sweet potato areas, people will be left with servings of sweet potato and no marshmallow. So don’t do that either, okay?

Like I said, I’m extremely thankful that I’ll be spending Thanksgiving with you today.

Love, Me.