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How My Life and The Movie <i>Revenge of the Sith</i> Are One In The Same

Sometimes, it’s not the most positive experience when you realize that your life and an actual motion picture are, in fact, one in the same.

There were times, over the years, when these realizations were less than flattering. From coming to the conclusion that, yes, the entire mini-storyline of Stand By Me, with the kid in the pie-eating contest and the throwing up and the, yes you get the idea… to The Godfather 1 & 2, with the way in which my childhood was controlled by a god-father of sorts, with rules about bedtimes and who I could associate myself with… Well, you get the idea.

But how could I scoff at the moment when my life and a $154 million dollar, 4-day grossing blockbuster movie like Revenge of the Sith finally crossed paths? When the two resembled each other more than a pair of twins, or two life-savers from the same roll of candy. The moment of realization that your life is just like a George Lucas’ penned movie can be a startling and nerve-wracking moment, but if his creation can reap the riches of a small third-world country… Then so can mine.

But how, you ask. How is your life just like Revenge of the Sith? How is a movie that takes place in “a galaxy far, far away” anything like your Los Angeles existence. How could you post anything about Star Wars after weeks of publicity that’s giving us all a headache?

I do what I gotta do, people. First of all, and most importantly — Anakin Skywalker is evil. Inherently evil. He may seem like a nice guy on the surface and all pally with Obi-W, but deep down he’s got evil in there.

Pretty much the same for me. I mean, yeah, when I think about it there’s a lot of inherent evil down there inside of me too. Sometimes, when I put in change into a machine for a bag of Skittles and I don’t get it because the machine doesn’t twist that metal bar far enough to let the candy fall into the bottom retrieval area — the anger boils up like a thousand Jedi soldiers. So, yeah — evil incarnate.

Secondly, let’s talk about Revenge of the Sith‘s amazing visual effects — much like the way people perceive me when they first meet me. There have been times that people have said to someone after meeting me (and I just happened to hear it while pretending not to listen) something to the effect of, “Wow, Paul really has some great visual effects!” And, let’s be frank people — we know what they mean by that.

Thirdly, we obviously can’t ignore the fact that Revenge of the Sith is all about a talented guy with a bit of an attitude who slays almost everyone around him.

Ahem. Me.

When you really break it down — there’s a million other connections between my life and the movie. From there being Wookies to huge battle droids in there, well there’s really no question in my mind that this comparison is way better than Stand By me or The Godfather or even Hot Dog: The Movie…

This is a comparison that I will gladly approve, confirm and never deny.

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