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  • Paul Davidson

Your Personalized License Plate Isn’t Fooling Anyone

ILV2D82.

Yes, I am sure you love to date, too — but really, does the fact that you’re brodcasting it to the world mean that the reality of your life is that you really do love to date, and that you love to date too which means, in addition to all your other friends currently loving the dating thing, you are right there with them?

The truth is this. (And I’m going to be very very very blunt and honest with all of you right now — this is something I rarely do.) But the truth is…that your personalized license plate isn’t fooling anyone.

You do not love to date (LV2DATE). You are not sexy Sarah (SXYSRAH). You are not hot on top (HTONTOP) or hot to trot (HOT2TRT) or hot and sexy (HOTNSXY) or hot and bothered (HTNBTHD). You are not feeling ecstacy in excess (XTCINXS) nor are you really, honestly, wondering why you are here (YMIHEER). This really wasn’t a gift from your father (GFTFRDA) or a gift for your babe (FRUBABE). You are not the number one fan (NBR1FAN) nor are you really good on rollerskates (GDNSK8S). And above all, you are not the only person in this world who loves dogs (LVMYPUP), cats (LUVMEOW), iguanas (IGUANLV), UPS delivery guys (1HOTUPS) and yourself (1BIGEGO). And above all, just because you drive fast (NEED4SP) doesn’t mean that you’re any cooler than me (CULDOOD).

Worse than your cell phone ringtone which is still not fooling anyone — your personalized license plate is not about who you are in the least. It is either:

a) Something you wish people would call you. b) Something you wish people would associate with you. c) A quality you wish you had. d) Something stupid spelled with letters and numbers that you came up with on the phone with your friends at 2 am in the morning just because you had to have a personalized license plate.

That’s it. Really. That’s the only reason you have a personalized license plate. Business plates are one thing (limo services, let’s say) and Car Dealer Plates are another. But when you go out and think up something to put on your license plate, it is all about what you aren’t versus what you are.

Think about it. If you have a personalized license plate — just what was the reasoning behind getting such a thing? Are you the NXTSTAR or do you have a HOTBOD2? Do you LV2SKI or H8URDAD? Is your car so WCKDFST and you want everyone to know about it? Are you 1GR8KID or do you have a BIGPROB with authority? What are you trying to communicate with the other people on the road and is it really, truly something you care about? I sort of doubt it.

And above all, it’s way obvious to me that you are no GENUIS.

Ain’t that the truth, eh?

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