Your Cell Phone Ringtone Isn’t Fooling Anyone
July 1st, 2004
50 Cent’s “In Da House Club” is probably the only rap song you know.
There you stand, in the middle of the office, throwing your hands up to the sky in what you call your “raisin’ the roof” mode, dancing to your ringtone as someone (supposedly) is calling you on the other line. For all we know, you’ve got your old cell phone with Mozart’s 5th as a ringtone calling your new one over and over and over again…
Because you’ve got 50 Cent’s “In Da House Club” as your ringtone.
You are white. You are well-off. You have had everything handed to you on a silver platter. Yet, you were one of those kids in high school who wore baggy pants that caused you to trip on your face a few times a day, in homage to your “boyyyyyzzzzz”, Kriss Kross.
And now look at you. You and your ringtone.
- - -
I find people and their ringtones to be an extremely silly combination these days. It’s sort of like the technologically updated version of a man and his dog. We tool around this little object that periodically throughout the day makes beautiful (or annoying) music when it rings. And that ringtone is something we’ve gone out and hand-picked (like picking out a pet at a store or a puppy-mill) because we think that it represents us and/or says something about us that we want the world to surmise about our personality.
I am not immune to the disease. My current ringtone on my Sidekick is the music from AC/DC’s Back in Black. I, apparently, want the world to see me as a “sex, drugs & rock n’ roll” rebellious rule-breaker with a penchant for big hair. (I think.)
In my travels throughout the world (i.e. Los Angeles) I have collected data on the types of people and the types of ringtones they have paired themselves with. Here are some of my findings:
Republican White Guy: 50 Cent’s “In Da House Club”
Insecure, Nerdy White Guy: Phantom Planet’s “California”
Average, Quirky White Girl: The Dukes of Hazzard Theme Song
Elderly Man: Something by The Chemical Bros.
Hip, Cool Black Guy: Handel’s Messiah
Very Hot Girl: Whatever Came Set on the Phone as Default
These few observations have convinced me that deep down, those who are most comfortable with their own personalities usually opt for something very basic and average. Is this possibly because they have so little time to worry about crafting an image based on a ringtone?
Those who seem less comfortable with who they are, and want people to perceive them as a different personality type most often work tirelessly to find a ringtone that appropriately communicates the type of “gangsta” or “hip dude” they want people to think they’re like. And ringtones are so subtle in that the user never has to say “I’m so street” because the phone is doing it for them on a subconscious level.
It may just be me, but I see a thesis hidden somewhere in here.
Do you?
—
In other news, tomorrow brings us full circle to another edition of “Words For Your Enjoyment”… where you provide the idea, I steal it, and make a subtle reference to your own website without making you look too good. Really, it’s just like the cut-throat world of American Business!
I think you are refering to 50cent’s hit sensation “In Da Club,” not “In Da House.”
As for me, I would like to have Pebo Bryson’s “Never Gonna Let You Go” on my phone, but can’t find it on one of those fancy ring tone websites. What does that say about a straight white man? (Presuming I lived in L.A.)
Comment by Tito — July 1, 2004 @ 8:12 am
A straight white man who wants anything by Pebo Bryson as his ringtone is EXTREMELY confident in who they are.
As for “In Da House” versus “In Da Club”, I stand corrected as shown above.
I never said I was “street” anyway.
Comment by Pauly D — July 1, 2004 @ 8:20 am
I don’t get the whole ring tone phenomenon- I had a couple of friends that had the same ring tone and one of them just HAD to change theirs so they didn’t have the same one- god forbid! It’s like going to prom and finding out that another girl has the same exact dress on as you do. How totally uncool, like really!
Me? I just picked the least annoying ring tone and stuck with it, although I did have it as “Take Me Out to the Ballgame” a few years ago- I had to change it after it created a Pavlov’s dog-like response in me where I’d rush to the phone to see if it was my ex-boyfriend calling. Yeah, I was a little pathetic a few years ago. I’m much better now, thank you very much.
Comment by Kristi — July 1, 2004 @ 10:04 am
Sounds like you need a Destiny’s Child song as your ring tone. Something that screams “No, really, I’m an independent woman, really” something like “Bugaboo” or “Survivor.”
Comment by Tito — July 1, 2004 @ 10:17 am
I feel so emasculated… My ring tone is the sound byte from Pulp Fiction with the loud BANG! And Sam Jackson saying “I’m sorry, did I break your concentration?” I thought it differentiated me from other people, turns out I’m just trying to craft a non-existant. My wife’s is whatever came on the phone as the default. Damn. At least we’ve confirmed she’s hot.
Comment by AdamBomb — July 1, 2004 @ 10:49 am
Pulp Fiction sound clips. Now there’s something I’d like. I’d probably want ‘English MOtherfucker, do you speka it?’, but that might not be so good when in rings in the office. For now I put my phone on silent mode ALWAYS! I hate ringtones!
Comment by monkeyinabox — July 1, 2004 @ 11:50 am
My dream ringtone would be the theme song from “The Greatest American Hero.”
But that’s just me.
Comment by Pauly D — July 1, 2004 @ 1:44 pm
Tee hee- Pauly, that reminds me of the “Seinfeld” episode where George does a parody of “The Greatest American Hero” for his answering machine:
“Believe it or not,
George isn’t at home,
Just leave a message
at the be-e-ep…”
I’m cracking myself up.
Comment by Kristi — July 1, 2004 @ 1:52 pm
Oh good. This makes me a Very Hot Girl. Seeing as I’m not hot, not a girl, and not “Very” anything, I’m surfing to http://www.att.com/ringtones/LoudObnoxiousRapForNerdyWhiteGuys as we speak.
Comment by Scott — July 1, 2004 @ 2:34 pm
My ideal ringtone would be an audio clip of Uncle Leo from Seinfeld yelling, “ANSWER THE DAMN PHONE!”
Comment by Will — July 1, 2004 @ 3:23 pm
So, let’s say that maybe this girl I know has the theme from Love Boat as her ring tone. What does that make her?
Comment by Lena — July 1, 2004 @ 8:41 pm
So, this girl you may know who has Love Boat on her cell phone as the ringtone, in my personal professional opinion, means she wants people to think that she feels that love is “exciting and new” and when the right guy finds her, she’ll be “welcoming them aboard the U.S.S. her.”
Comment by Pauly D — July 1, 2004 @ 8:51 pm
Currently I have The Cure’s - “Close to me” as aringer on my. It’s been my ringer ever since I bought my cell in December.
Much like the clothes you wear, as horrible as it is, a ringtone is often all a person needs to decifer what kind of person you are.
If you are a white dude with a beret and sport any rap tunage as a ringtone for your cell, you’re ‘obviously’ a ‘poser’ by the rules of society (it’s really common sense, people, unless you WANT to attract negative perceptions to yourself).
But maybe this beret bearing geek is a thuggin fool deep down in his lil’ heart and just felt like dressing to his mood today. A bit faggy and prep. Wot’s wrong with that?
Who am I foolin’. Guys measure their ringtones how they measure their cocks. And girls measure it with…well, chicks are generally judgemental anyway. All I know is that these ringtones gotta be new - NO cheese midi tunes! And yes, I have to agree that a person’s style, attitude and the energy they disperse, should match their ringtone.
I have plenty looks, prep, goth, bad-ass, retro, booty-licious and grunge. So naturally, I downloaded a crap-load of ringtones (for FREE woo-hoo!) to match my range of styles.
Iron Man - Black Sabbath
Party hard - Andrew W. K.
London Calling - The Clash
Personal Jesus - Depeche Mode
and yes…In Da Club. Oi.
But I’ve only used my The Cure - Close to me ringer.
Why? Because I haven’t heard is as a ringer for any other phone.
Now I won’t feel like a dumb-ass reaching for my phone, when it’s really someone elses’s phone ringing on the bus.
Comment by Christine — July 1, 2004 @ 10:55 pm
Hehehehe… you know ‘her’ pretty well….
Comment by Lena — July 2, 2004 @ 9:53 pm
I have different ring tones assiged to different people on my contact list…basically whatever songs remind me of them. For my sister I have “I’m Every Woman” cause she’s so fabulous, my parents I have the theme from “Sanford and Son” because that’s the show we all used to sit around and watch as a family when I was growing up. My two brothers I have the theme song from “Lost In Space” since that was our favorite show to watch together. And my ex-husband I have “Bethoven’s Fifth.” Originally, I wanted the theme song for Darth Vader for him, but couldn’t find it, darn it. For all other incoming calls I’ve just got a generic ring tone.
And if you really want the “Greatest American Hero” ringtone, check out http://www.free-nokia-ringtones.tv/browseByCategory/. I don’t know how it sounds, but it’s free.
Comment by groovebunny — July 3, 2004 @ 2:06 am
I, like groovebunny, also have ring tones assigned to different people. I tend to ask them for suggestions…but I have assigned my husband to “A-Ha Take on Me”…a dramatic Russian friend to “Bizet” an ex-boss/work to “chicken sounds” and my mother in law to a totally random “girls just wanna have fun”
I like 99 luftballoons the best as a ringtone…but have not assigned that yet.
My normal ringtone for all other calls is the preset factory one.
Comment by C(h)ristine — July 5, 2004 @ 11:08 pm
I just found a new ring for my ex-husband. It’s the robot voice “Warning Will Robinson!” from “Lost in Space”.
Comment by groovebunny — July 6, 2004 @ 4:17 pm
i read ur wordis and i realy enjoy going to the site.
i wish u could do me a favour.
plz kindly send me the ringing tone of 50cent in da club. my phone number is 08028254270 my zip code is 234, plz help me. thanks for ur co operation.
bye
Comment by ebi — July 10, 2004 @ 4:04 pm
I wonder if this concept applies to people with personalized license plates.
Comment by Kathleen — July 14, 2004 @ 7:21 am
I used to be a bit interested in Ring Tones…all my guy friends had “Big Pimpin’” assigned to them…my boyfriend had “Let’s Stay Together” because it was the first song we ever danced to…but now everyone is the same “Never There” by Cake
Personalized license plates are crazy…this guy I work with has “LUSH” and we all had fun speculating, but turns out its just bc of his name Luscious (pronounced Loosh-us. I imagine Pauly’s would be “2Fast4U” (although I wish “Hammer Time would fit)
Comment by sarah — July 14, 2004 @ 9:13 am
I used to have a personalized license plate that read, “YMIHEER.”
At the time, it was the only thing I could think of, but soon I quickly had a justification for it - that I was always stuck in traffic and would constantly ask myself, “Why Am I Here! Dear God, WHY AM I HERE!”
It caused my close family to wonder if I needed professional help.
Comment by Pauly D — July 14, 2004 @ 9:19 am
Hey Paul -
i knew there was a reason that i have been digging reading your site lately…this has been notifying me on my phone when i get emails (yeah i know it’s not phone calls, but i could easily switch it away from the CTU desk phones if i wanted to) for the past four months or so!
Comment by jimi — July 15, 2004 @ 5:02 am
plz
i wish you to help me chance rings turns in my phone.
That is all i want.
I also want to be alart in my phone every time i have a new messege in my E-mail box.
Yours Fofie
Comment by Fofie homeboy — July 30, 2004 @ 2:30 am
What is 50cent’s phone number
Comment by Rayquan — July 1, 2005 @ 5:44 am
Loved your comments. hey, i’m trying to get the theme from greatest american hero (believe it or not george isn’t at home) as my ringtone. can you point me in the right direction?
Comment by Andrew — September 30, 2005 @ 11:55 am
If I have the theme from “Alias” as my ringtone, what does that say about me? Do I secretly want to be an ass-kicking superchick working for the CIA? Or am I totally uncool for still loving a show that isn’t airing anymore?
And personalized license plates? Generally I hate them, and the people who have them. Mostly because they’re lame. Like 2HAWT4U or LUV DOC or QTNSIDE or PRNCESS. Or especially the ones with two pairs of initials joined by a heart. Gag! But for you, Pauly D, I will consider making an exception.
Comment by Nicole — July 19, 2006 @ 10:40 am
When I got my new phone, I scanned the available ringtones that came with the phone and ended up choosing the Exorcist theme, Tubular Bells. I never even saw the Exorcist, nor do I want to. In fact, I can’t deal with scary movies at all. Hell, Scream and Scary Movie would have probably scared me, but I don’t know because I’m scared to see them. I just liked the sound of the ringtone.
Comment by Monica Ricci — July 20, 2006 @ 8:45 am
I have “Ding-dong the Witch is Dead” for my mom. “She F@#king Hates me” for my ex-mother-in-law. “You Should have Said No” by Taylor Swift for my Ex-Husband, and “I wanna talk about me” by Toby Keith for my sister because she only every calls to talk about herself. An just something I learned along the way; having “Dirty Little Secret” as the ringtone for your best guy friend who you swear you aren’t sleeping with is neither covert nor cute.
Comment by Robin — December 2, 2008 @ 1:55 pm