Your Head Is Bigger Than Mine And That Makes Me Extremely Happy

I noticed your head on a drive to the store one night to get beer.

Usually, when I sit behind the passenger seat and someone else is the passenger, I can read street signs and see the lights of the traffic lights which I can count against to see if we can make lights turn green that are red. That night, I couldn’t even see the other vehicles and as far as my eyes were concerned…there were no pedestrians anywhere.

But on this drive in particular, your head blocked my view of everything. It was as if your head slowly floated inbetween the moon and the sun and blocked out everything worth looking at.

Then, while at the mini-mart, I waited for you to move towards the corner fridges where you opened the freezing cold door to reach for a six pack. But as you were there, your head appeared on the angled dome-like survelliance mirror perched at the corner of the store. Without you noticing, I snuck my head behind yours, and that’s where I realized your head is about 2 inches wider than my head on all sides.

That’s a damn big head.

Then I could help but notice the size of your head while we sat around the table drinking beers. Instead of hearing what you were saying, all I could concentrate on was the size of your head. I envisioned it slowly turning into a balloon and floating off into the sky. I wanted to pop it. That darn huge head of yours. It was like a zit ready to get squeezed.

Two inches all the way around is a lot of extra head-fat.

I realized I’ve never seen you wear a hat or a visor…but I always see you wearing a bandana. I wondered to myself if your head is just way too big for those “one size fits all” hats and so the only way for you to feel okay about the size of your head is to wrap it up in a big cloth. All at once I started to feel bad for a person like you, living in a small-headed world and wondered if late at night you jammed your head in the doorjamb in an attempt to shrink your melon. At least, that’s what I figure was the cause of the lascerations on your temples.

Then again, it could have been because of those bandanas. You do tie them way too damn tight.