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  • Paul Davidson

You Will Never Learn

No. You won’t.

Yeah, yeah, yeah — I know you think that you have learned, are continuing to learn and see a future of learning for yourself over the next few years. But in reality, you must face facts and realize that no matter how much learning you think you’ve done, are doing, and will do — in the end you will never learn a damn thing.

Don’t think I get any joy out of telling you this.

I am not smiling with an annoying half-cocked grin as I write this to you. I am not jumping for joy (especially since I cannot type and jump for joy at the same time.) I am not on a three-way conference call with three other people who have learned, are learning and will continue to learn and I am not telling them that I know of some person who will never learn — which results in raucous laughter.

No. I don’t even have three-way calling and if I did boy would I be stupid for paying that extra money for a stand-alone feature such as that when I’ve been told many a time that by simply ordering a huge package of a ton of telephone features, I’ll get the 3-way calling feature for like, oh I don’t know — 35 cents more a month.

That, I have learned.

But you — faced with a world where there is so much to learn, haven’t even figured out the three way calling rub. There you sit, ordering phone service after phone service without ordering one of those true-value packages and no matter what the people at the phone company tell you, you insist that they are trying to scam you because you are untrusting, unbelieving and yes…unlearning.

But I digress.

The fact that you will never learn does not cause me to like you any less. It does not cause me to think that you are an idiot or a dullard. It does not cause me to make fun of you behind your back to complete strangers or family members who ARE complete strangers because you have never learned to pick up the phone and foster relationships with your own blood. I do not take these facts and turn them into hating-fodder. I do not think of you and giggle with glee that I have learned more than you.

I could, but I don’t.

The real serious situation here is that you will never learn. What, you ask, will you never learn? Just by asking me to tell you what you will never learn makes it obvious to me that you will never learn. Why, you ask, has this happened to you? Again, another reason for me to assume that you are doing no learning along this road of life. When, you ask, will you realize for yourself that indeed you will never learn anything and that learning in life is simply a repetitive action that will bear you (personally) no fruit.

Never, I say. You will never learn why this has happened, when you will realize it or how it has happened. And that is why I am here today writing this to you. To inform you, that you will never learn.

Of course, you have yet to figure out how to learn how to visit web pages on the Internet which will, like a Catch-22, keep you from learning that you will never learn a thing.

In the end, I guess being oblivious is a godsend.

Of course, if you will never learn, you probably will never learn the meaning to the word “oblivious” which makes this whole post a moot point. Moot, being another word you have never learned, which makes my categorization of this post also a waste of time due to the lack of learning going on here.

Hell, since you will never learn — this entire post is a wash.

Thanks for nothing, buddy.

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