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  • Paul Davidson

Words To Make Them Lose Their Mind

I’m no stranger to driving people crazy. But, specifically, I’m no stranger to making people think they’re crazy with a simple little game I like to play at loud, busy parties.

Step #1: Find a party.

Step #2: Attend said party.

Step #3: Find a party-goer.

Step #4: Approach said party-goer.

Step #5: Say “hey.”

Step #6: Begin a conversation with said party-goer who you’ve just said “hey” to.

Step #7: Now this is where the true game begins. You’re going to say a sentence to this party-goer and make only one word make sense. The rest has to be gibberish. For example:

“Blagua hasaminta hu kannie telephone“

Said party-goer will look at you — having heard the word “telephone” and think they’re going crazy. They will probably say, “I’m sorry — what was that?”

Step #8: Repeat the above gibberish with the one coherent word after you tell them, “Oh, let me say it SLOWER for you.” Then, do it — saying the same incoherence but slower. This will make the person feel even more idiotic when they still don’t understand you. They will probably say, “It’s totally loud in here, I couldn’t hear you — come over here and tell me again.” You will move to a quiet doorway.

Step #9: You will repeat the phrase for a final and third time. They will probably say, “Oh, yeah — totally!” This is, of course, even though they have no idea what you have just said. The reality — people do not want to look stupid and after three tries they will just pretend they have heard correctly.

Step #10: You say, “Are you serious? Really!?” They will, 99% of the time get very nervous, afraid they have just faked their way through a very serious statement and will say, “W-w-w-w-wait a second! What did you say?”

It is more fun than lighting plastic on fire.

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