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Words For <i>Your</i> Enjoyment: Smurfs

There’s really no way to lead up to it.

Today’s “Words For Your Enjoyment” has been creatively supplied by none-other than WFME’s resident blog antagonist, Steve. Here to keep me honest, he has provided me with the question to end all questions… Steve asks WFYE, “Which Smurf would you be?”

Hoo boy.

There is like no question whatsoever that if I had the opportunity to be a Smurf, that I would so be Smurfette.

There’s a really easy mentality here, but to put it all into perspective, please peruse the following list of all of the Smurfs ever in existence: Papa Smurf, Lazy Smurf, Handy Smurf, Brainy Smurf, Clumsy Smurf, Tailor Smurf, Farmer Smurf, Dreamy Smurf, Harmony Smurf, Painter Smurf, Hefty Smurf, Vanity Smurf, Jokey Smurf, Poet Smurf, Grouchy Smurf, Baker Smurf, Greedy Smurf, Snappy Smurf, Slouchy Smurf, Baby Smurf and Grandpa Smurf. What do they all have in common?

They’re all male smurfs.

My homegirl Smurfette is the only original female smurf to exist in a world of male Smurfs and instead of being a part of one huge sausage party, you can bet your bippy I would choose to be the single female Smurf over any other Smurf in that damn village. Sure, it’d be nice to be handy or brainy or hefty — and you might say that if I was brainy I could outsmart the other Smurfs to hookup with Smurfette or if I was hefty I could kick the asses of the rest of the Smurfs or if I was handy, I could build some huge tower and put myself and Smurfette up there.

But really, who are we really kidding?

Smurfette is the way to go. No matter if you are male or female, no matter if you like having blue skin, no matter if you are afraid of Gargamel and Azrael (the cat) — when it comes time to choose which Smurf you want to be in your next life, you know which way to go. The hot, single, solo female Smurf in the land — Smurfette.

I think you’ll all agree with me on this one as it is a no-brainer.

In other news, the people from HGTV’s Design on a Dime swung out to the pad this week and I got to meet all the people you see on the show. They’ll be shooting my place for the show in late February and you should be able to see the Pauly D on National TV this Summer.

In other additional news, I am now one week into my gig as Supervising Producer on a new untitled FOX reality show which is insane. It’s crazy, really. It’s like The Running Man meets 101 Dalmatians meets Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure. Seriously, it is.

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