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  • Paul Davidson

Words For <i>Your</i> Enjoyment: 30 Minutes or Less

When you ask a question that confuses and confounds, you often receive e-mail responses that give it right back to ya. Such was the case with this week’s “Words For Your Enjoyment” plea, in which I asked faithful WFME readers to think of a number between one and ten, and give me an idea attached to said number.

Some people, like Chris, gave me an entire list of ten ideas, all with corresponding numbers. I decided to go with lucky number 7, which coincided with the phrase, “30 Minutes or Less.”

Is that an idea? I don’t know. But it got me thinking about all the things I can do in 30 minutes or less, and so I’ve attached a list for all to peruse. And yes, I am ready for the masses to criticize and attack my list (mostly the unbelievers) who will cry as if a great injustice has been done, for how could I do any of the following things in 30 minutes or less.

Well just know that I can, and I have pictures to prove it.

Things I Can Do in 30 Minutes or Less Eat 90 2/3rds packets of crackers. Recite the alphabet 60 times, while singing in tune. Redial a busy number 300 times. Watch three episodes of Blind Date, via TiVo. Debate if I’m going to eat that doughnut, then eat it. Peel a lemon without using my hands or feet. Sit on hold with Earthlink DSL Technical Support. Determine that I’m being lazy, come up with a list of things to do, then fall asleep while drooling out the corner of my mouth. Separate marshamallow pieces from half a box of Lucky Charms cereal. Order a delivery pizza, and not get it. Thankfully. Hit my knee on the sharp edge of a coffee table twenty-two times. Realize at the 27 minute mark, that the show I’m watching…I’ve seen before. Write a blog post about things I can do in under 30 minutes, in under 30 minutes.

I’d ask you what things you can do in 30 minutes or less, but I suspect it might take us longer than 30 minutes or less to get the answers, and so I cannot (in all good conscience) ask you such a question in a post about such a time limit when said referenced time limit will not be adhered to.


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