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  • Paul Davidson

Who Wants To Turn Off the TV?

“The return of America’s most romantic show.”

This is what the ads on NBC are saying about the return of one of the silliest show concepts ever to grace our television screens, Who Wants To Marry My Dad.

In the show, a group of children (usually daughters) find a woman and pick her for their dad to marry. In most instances their father is either divorced or widowed and is in desperate need of a romantic television experience where cameras film his daughter’s search for the one woman who will make all right.

Here’s a few spin-off ideas for the Producers at NBC that are, yes, free of charge:

Who Wants to Pimp My Sister: A group of siblings come together to bring their sheltered sister out of her shell by interviewing and challenging a variety of Pimps to win the “ownership” of their sister, so upon completing the show, they will be able to sell her body to the highest bidder.

Who Wants to Sleep With Me And Not Call Me In The Morning: Five women go out to bars in an attempt to find the perfect one night stand. They must lure men back to their lair, sleep with them, then hope they do NOT call them the next morning. The woman who goes the longest without ever hearing from her one-night-stand ever again, wins a trip to Club Med.

Who Wants to Cook Me Some Eggs: A group of down-and-out college roomates search for a live-in cook who will finally get them on the right track of good eating. Over the course of the show, aspiring cooks with attempt to create dishes with the fewest ingredients, in the hopes that they will be chosen by the group of hungry collegiates. (Any dishes with eggs, will most definitely be weighted more heavily.)

Who Wants to Live Forever So That They Can Find Romance in the Year 2150: Five women who are so sure that there is NO MAN here on Earth that they would want to be with (who are straight, obviously) have themselves cryogenically frozen and re-awakened in the year 2150 where they hope that reality TV is still popular so they can try to find their soulmate via a variety of futuristic challenges that include gorpod races, ca’mrash runs and aliens.

Who Wants to Pretend They Were Just Hit In The Eye By A Stray Stream of Grapefruit Juice: A very somber dramatic series where a very close, loving family out at dinner must figure out just who it was who (while eating Grapefruit) squirted one of the family members in the eye. In the end, the person who is thought to have been the culprit is removed from the family, and considered dead by the rest of the clan. (They all even rip a piece of their clothing, in traditional Jazz Singer tradition.)

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