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  • Paul Davidson

Where My Shoes Have No Name

You’ve heard of Nike I.D.?

That’s where, you…normal American citizen, can log onto Nike’s website and design your own shoes for under $100. You can define the colors, the styles, the traction on the bottom of your cross-trainer, basketball shoe or tennis sneaker. You can choose every single element for your brand new shoe.

Including a name.

There’s a section on the back of these Nike I.D. shoes where you can put a name, a number or a saying. And I must have sat in front of my computer for an hour trying to think of what damn name I could even imagine putting on the back. Without any luck, of course.

Really, assigning a name to the back of your customized shoe is like getting a tattoo. Years later, when your shoe is wrinkled and old, the tattoo will still be there. And when you’re out playing croquet with your old buddies and they ask you what “Fat Mama” means on the back of your cross-trainer, well, boy you sure are going to be embarassed.

I thought of putting “Pauly D” on the back. I thought of putting my birthdate. I even though of putting my ATM code in the event that Alzheimer’s set in before I hit my mid thirties. I thought of funny words and quirky nicknames. I thought of dashes and dots like braile. I even thought of leaving it blank except for a symbol like “&” or *” and telling people that I used to be Pauly D but now I was the writer with the sneakers who is simply known as “&”.

Stooooooooopid.

Really, seriously, what the hell is worth putting on the back of a personally-designed Nike sneaker?

Hell if I know.

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