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  • Paul Davidson

WFME’s Technological Advances

Sure, blogs are the new technological thing these days. They’re hip, they’re cool, and everyone is writing them or snorting them. But what’s next for the technology?

After some thought, I have come up with a variety of new technological advances that I will be adding to Words For My Enjoyment over the next few months. Some of these advances, most obviously, will take time to fully develop — but I am committed to including each of the following in a timely manner. Your thoughts on these additions are more than welcome!

Scratch n’ Sniff Blog Entries: If I’m writing about cheese, and you scratch the blog entry — you will smell cheese. If I’m writing about pizza, and you scratch the blog entry — you will smell pizza. If I’m writing about FPJ and you scratch the blog entry, you will smell an old, dead rat.

Emotionally-Interactive Blog Entries: If you’re reading along and you get to the point where I mention something in a blog entry about falling down and hitting my head — and you laugh… The blog entry will quickly adjust to continue to allow you to read more about me hitting my head. On the fly. If you are getting bored with my talk about how big my head is, it will quickly change the subject matter to something more entertaining, like about midgets or dwarfs. If you are tired, the blog entry will end immediately, providing you a very short reading experience.

Ego-Posts: Are you all about yourself? Well, when this feature is integrated into WFME, everything will be about you — including the picture at the top left. In fact, it will be as if you have written every single post on the page. There will even be a theme song. Your theme song, which will play in a MIDI or MP3 format when the page loads. You will feel loved all the hours of the day, or at least as long as you’re on this blog.

Pasta-Blog: Like pasta? Do you like homemade tomato sauce with garlic? Then this addition will warm your stomach as pasta and sauce (and meatballs and sausage) will come out of your computer when you press the PASTA NOW button on the blog. I’ll put this button right below the “Email Pauly D” button on the top left for easy locating. But have a bowl on hand, or you’re bound to end up with a lap filled with you-know-what.

A.I. Interaction: Do you like to talk to your computer screen? Well, now — A.I. Pauly D will be available for your interaction-purposes. The A.I. Pauly D will come with a variety of responses to your questions. Some examples are:

Q: How are you, Pauly D? A: Good, thanks. Q: Feeling good today, Pauly D? A: Good, thanks. Q: What’s the square root of 256, Pauly D? A: Good, thanks.

Yeah, yeah. It’s going to need some additional technology to get it to an advanced level, but for now, well, at least it’s A.I., right?

What’s My Color?: Curious to know what your color is to better help you dress yourself in the morning? Now, with WFME’s “Whats My Color?”, the blog will let you know if you’re a Winter, Summer, Spring or Fall — giving you easy links to purchase clothing that will best enhance your skin coloring. This will, of course, be in conjunction with a large-major-huge on-line retailer of some kind.

Cheese 2.0: With a click of a button, you’ll be able to see cheese instead of this blog. (This feature has already been integrated and is running smoothly.)

We here at WFME hope you stick with us, because these future technologies are bound to make this blog the most advanced-blog in the history of, well, this blog.

Thank you. Thank you very much.

(I’m bowing, just so you know.)

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