WFME’s Official Guide to Good TV
So many channels, so little time.
That’s why Words For My Enjoyment is offering up our 2004 edition of The Official Guide to Good TV. The guide is a simple checklist that will allow you to determine if what you’re watching is (a)Great TV, (b)Good TV, (c)Bad TV or (d)Not Worth Your Time.
Each section contains the elements present in that category of TV. It will help you and your valuable time decide what’s worth watching and what’s worth ignoring.
You can thank me via my imaginary “donate to me just for blogging” Paypal icon — which between you and me is the most ludicrous thing any blogger can put on their blog. (Just my opinion, but puh-leeze.)
Great TV Great TV contains any or all of the following elements:
Talking animals Single camera filming Music from the 80’s Tricycles Famous narrators (i.e. Ron Howard, Daniel Stern) A lack of commercials Title characters with random jobs Women as spies Spunky lawyers Spunky doctors British speaking characters S’mores
Good TV Good TV contains any or all of the following elements:
Cursing cowboys Locations outside of California Sperm-locating blue-light devices Sitcoms set in different decades Time travelling children/teenagers No scripts, but not reality TV Sketch comedy on non-network channels Lack of bikinis or bathing suits or bare-chested towel wearing hunks God without religion Martial arts Full-grown adults in suits of armor Any show about nerds, geeks, people with OCD’s or referencing “square pegs”
Bad TV Bad TV contains any or all of the following elements:
A coffee shop Coffee shops named after fruits or their insides A title with more than 10 words Guest stars from the 80’s People on rollerskates Laugh tracks Jokes about Anna Nicole Smith Shows giving away less than 50k and more than 1 million Shows starring faded stars over the age of 60 Shows that advertise “comedy legends” Spunky kids Jokes about the Internet Office comedies with the trademark annoying secretary with dyed hair Full CGI animation
Not Worth Your Time Change the channel if you see any of these elements:
Monkeys Midgets pulling airplanes Animated dogs or cats Red-headed tomboys Facial reconstruction Pigs Shows lauding their “team of experts” Any show where the announcer notifies you that the upcoming sequence will be the “most shocking event ever!” Sitcoms following reality shows Spunky animals People doing impressions of Schwartzenegger or Stallone