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  • Paul Davidson

Two People Who Should Be Thrown Out, Instead of the Tomatoes

Him: Ok, you say Tom-ay-to.

Her: Tom-ay-to.

(A long beat)

Her: Now, don’t you say Tom-ah-to?

Him: Yeah, yeah. Sorry. Tom-ah-to.

(Another long beat)

Him: Now what?

Her: Well, don’t we throw the whole thing out, now?

Him: Throw what whole thing out?

Her: The tom-ay-tos and the tom-ah-tos.

Him: But we don’t have any vegetables.

Her: So then why do they tell you to throw them out if people don’t even have them in the first place?

Him: Well…I suspect that whoever came up with that little song had vegetables or something.

Her: Yeah, but what the hell — did they think that everyone was so loaded that they were walking around with bags of vegetables all the time?

Him: I don’t know.

Her: Seems strange, if you ask me. Who comes up with a song and doesn’t give it a little forethought? I mean, the “National Anthem” — we all have our hands which we can put on our chest while we recite it. “Heads, Shoulder, Knees and Toes” — we’ve got all those parts too. But vegetables? I don’t know anyone walking around this world with vegetables.

Him: Well, if you’d just come from the Supermarket, maybe.

Her: Yeah, but like that happens maybe once a week. Or twice a month!

Him: You have a point.

Her: Damn right I have a point.

(A third long beat)

Him: Do you feel the same way about the whole po-tay-to, po-tah-to thing as well?

Her: Damn straight.

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