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  • Paul Davidson

Today’s Prognosis on Coupon Cutter-Outers

There are two kinds of people in this world — those who use coupons and those who do not.

Those who do not live pretty carefree lives. Romping and playing and frolicking in the sun, taking vacations and trips to exotic locales. Laughing and experiencing all that the world has to offer them.

Coupon cutters, well, they sit at home with their scissors and cut out coupons.

Coupon cutter-outers, which I fondly refer to them as, are rich. This is true. They save money like it’s the War of the Worlds outside. They use double coupons to reap benefits on everything from Swiffers to peanuts to cherry tomatoes — even though they have no use for them. And while the coupon cutter-outers have saved a load of money, they have also bought numerous (if not tons) of items that they would normally ever have a use for.

This handy questionnaire will help you figure out if you are crazy (coupon cutter-outers) or a normal everyday person.

1. A coupon for Glade Plug-Ins offers you an opportunity to buy four and get one free. Do you (a) buy four Glade Plug-Ins to get your fifth one free (5 pts) or do you (b) spit on the coupon (10 pts)?

2. Someone tells you that your local supermarket is doing one of those double-coupon dealios (where you get double the money back listed on the coupon) for one day only — yet you just went shopping yesterday. Do you (a) go to the store and buy up as much as you can and figure out a place to put all of the excess food later (5 pts) or do you (b) spit on your friend who mentioned the whole double-coupon debacle (10 pts)?

3. A supermarket is offering up a special coupon deal — if you buy twelve of any one thing from a particular list of items (Box of Adult Depends, Bag of Annoyingly Loud Dog Toys or Hearing Aid Batteries), you get a $5 coupon off your next box of adult depends, bag of annoyingly loud dog toys or hearing aid batteries. Do you (a) buy 12 of the product listed (5 pts) or (b) spit at the manager of the supermarket offering up the deal (10 pts)?

4. You find a ripped coupon on the ground, where the product name has been ripped off, but the scanning code is still intact. Do you (a) pick it up in the hopes that you can still use it for whatever it is for (5 pts) or do you (b) spit on it (10 pts)?

Now it’s time to tally your score.

If you have 0 – 20 pts, you are crazy and you cut coupons. If you have 20 – 30 pts, you are mildly crazy. If you have 30 – 35 pts, you a bordering on crazy. If you have 40 pts, you’re sane and can go about your life as you normally do.

WFME: Breaking down the world for what it really is.

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