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  • Paul Davidson

Today’s Paranoid Conspiracy Theory on Phantom Words

It may just be me.

If it is just me, you don’t have to post any sort of comment that says anything like I’m insane or I need help or I’m obviously on drugs or anything that may hurt my fragile self-confidence and send me into a downward spiral, the likes of which I may never return from.

The fact is, I see phantom words.

I’m reading a magazine, flipping through the pages, happily looking at the pretty pictures on my first pass of any magazine. I’m reading the articles that are interesting to me and leaving the other pertinent ones alone. I am flipping. I am flipping. And then, as I go to turn a page — my eye catches the word “dogpile” on the page that I’m currently turning.

The word could be anything. The word could be “intimidation”, “happily”, “interrogate”, “Mickey Mouse” or yes, even “dogpile.” The problem is, I now have to find that damn word.

I stop my flipping and I look to the page where the phantom word must have been. Why my eyes focused on one single word as the page was wildly passing by, I have no idea. But now, obviously due to my phantom word OCD, I have to sit there and look through the whole damn article to find the one word that I just saw.

Eventually, I find it.

So, I guess it’s less of a conspiracy theory, since the word is eventually found, and more of a weird trick your eyes play on your mind as you flip mindlessly past pages in a magazine. Why my eyes pick a particular word, I’m not sure. Why it stands out with such boldness, I have no idea. Why I have to find the word before I can move on…?

Like I said, keep your commentary to yourselves unless you have something nice to say.

In other news, The Benefactor ads are starting to run like crazy on ABC. Seriously, watch ABC for an hour, anytime during the day and you’ll see some spots. What I love (and what amuses me to no extent) is that the sizzle reel I produced while working on the show (the footage) is pretty much what ABC is using, just switched around and with a new announcer (not me). It’s cool nonetheless. The show premieres on Monday, September 13th at 8PM.

In additional other news, I am waiting waiting waiting waiting waiting on a thousand things to go go go go go go. Do you ever feel like you’re juggling three active chainsaws and you’re not sure if the next one coming down is handle first or rotating nasty blade first? Periodically, I do.

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