Search
  • Paul Davidson

Today’s Imaginary Conversation With My Left Knee

Yeah, yeah — obviously it didn’t take much planning or effort to get my left knee on board for a W.F.M.E. interview, but it was eye opening nonetheless.

Me: Hey you.

Paul’s Left Knee: Hi, Paul.

Me: Thanks for making yourself available for today’s interview. I’ve never done a body part interview other than that one with Justin Timberlake’s left breast, so I appreciate the effort you’ve made.

Paul’s Left Knee: Uh, I go wherever you go.

Me: Yeah, and I appreciate that.

Paul’s Left Knee: I don’t have a choice.

Me: Right, and I appreciate how you never complain.

Paul’s Left Knee: Can I ask you a question?

Me: Well, that’s sorta my job — but okay. Go ahead.

Paul’s Left Knee: Why are you always banging me into the sharpened wooden ends of coffee tables?

Me: Uh, sort of an accident I guess.

Paul’s Left Knee: And doorjambs?

Me: Accident.

Paul’s Left Knee: Fireplaces?

Me: Uh…accident?

Paul’s Left Knee: The painful edge of opened-car doors?

Me: I got it, I got it. I’m sorry. They’re all accidents. What do you think, it doesn’t hurt me when I do that?

Paul’s Left Knee: But why not your right knee? What’s up with that? Some kind of left-knee bigotry?

Me: Can we change the subject?

Paul’s Left Knee: Sure, fine.

Me: Thank you. So, can you tell my readers what it’s like being an anatomical body part?

Paul’s Left Knee: Painful.

Me: Oh, c’mon now.

Paul’s Left Knee: I answered your damn question. Jeeez, what do you want from me!?

Me: Okay, OK. Which do you prefer…shorts or denim jeans?

Paul’s Left Knee: Definitely denim. Gives me a little bit of cushion for those times that you slam me into sharp, painful objects.

Me: I give up.

Paul’s Left Knee: I’m cartilage, not iron! Not steel! I break, I crack, I hurt. Maybe you could try to get that through your cartilage-thick skull!

(Editor’s Note: At this point in the conversation, I terminated the interview by putting on a pair of sweatpants. WFME does not do well with hostile interview subjects. I’m sorry. I apologize for my left knee.)

0 views0 comments

Recent Posts

See All

Dear All of You, First of all, I’d like to say that I’m extremely thankful that I’ll be spending Thanksgiving with you today. Having you share today’s festivities with me is a wonderful thing and I h