Today’s Imaginary Conversation With Mary-Kate Olsen (5 Years From Now)

Yes, WFME scored a conversation with Mary-Kate Olsen…although it just happens to be from five years in the future. Whatever, an interview is an interview:

Me: So, hi.

Mary-Kate Olsen: Hi, Paul. How are you?

Me: Doing just fine. But let’s talk about YOU. Things seem to be going really well for you in more ways than one.

Mary-Kate Olsen: Well, yeah. I have a movie coming out this summer — it’s a little movie called Batman Continues and I’m very excited about it.

Me: And what else?

Mary-Kate Olsen: Well, this is really big — I am dating Tom Cruise!!

Me: Oh, wow. That’s………great!

Mary-Kate Olsen: Yeah, he has a movie coming out this summer, too. Rain Man 2! I’m sure it will do huge business.

Me: So, how long have you been dating?

Mary-Kate Olsen: Well, I met him yesterday at Jerry’s Deli in Los Angeles. We shared a root beer float, and well, it all went on from there.

Me: And…you see a future between the two of you? More than, oh let’s say, the last four girlfriends he had?

Mary-Kate Olsen: Katie Holmes, Lindsay Lohan, Raven Simone and Keshia Knight Pulliam?

Me: Yeah. Them.

Mary-Kate Olsen: I think, if you really look back at those relationships, you’ll see…like I did… That Tommy didn’t love any of them the way we love each other.

Me: Good point.

Mary-Kate Olsen: Yup.