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Today’s Exclusive Interview With Bill Clinton

We are currently on the eve of Bill Clinton’s 1,000 page book My Life doing monster business both in print and in the wonderful world of audio books (i.e. for lazy people or those who are blind) and so I thought that it was timely enough to publish my Today’s Exclusive Interview with Bill Clinton piece, which asks the questions you want to know the answers to.

So, without further delays, here is WFME’s Today’s Exclusive Interview with Bill Clinton, transcribed from the audio interview I did on June 11th, 2004. (Unfortunately, since I’m not the Wall Street Journal or Newsweek I was unable to peg down Clinton, and so my Uncle Howie helped out in his absence.)

Me: Hi, Bill. A pleasure to meet you.

Bill Clinton: The pleasure is all mine, Mr. Davidson. I love your blog, by the way.

Me: Thank you, thank you. Well, you’ve got a huge book coming out next week that most of the country is waiting to pick up. Do you suspect the book’s sales will reach the expectations of the publisher?

Bill Clinton: Meet them? Try, exceed them. My book… whatever it’s called, is going to do huuuuuuge numbers which will, in turn, allow me to no longer have to listen to my wife.

(Bill laughs.)

Me: That’s wonderful. You’re always such a joker.

Bill Clinton: I love telling jokes. Do you want to hear the one about the maiden and the duck who walked into a bar?

Me: No. Tell me about what inspired you to write this book after all these years.

Bill Clinton: Didn’t I get paid a lot to write it?

Me: Ten million dollars.

Bill Clinton: Well, there you go!

Me: When you sit down and have to write a book that’s one-thousand pages, what goes through your mind. I mean, that’s a long book to write. How long did it take you to put together?

Bill Clinton: Hmm. How long? That’s a tough question to answer.

Me: How about a ballpark?

Bill Clinton: About two years.

Me: Less.

Bill Clinton: One year?

Me: I suspect it was probably a little bit-

Bill Clinton: Six months!

Me: Yeah, okay.

Bill Clinton: Was that right?

Me: You wrote it, how am I supposed to know?

Bill Clinton: That’s right. I did write it. I’m going back to two years. I mean, it’s a thousand page book. Two years sounds about right.

Me: Ok. Okay. Well, in writing a book this long, and spending that much time putting it together, didn’t other aspects of your life start to suffer? I mean, some things have got to have fallen through the cracks…?

Bill Clinton: Surprisingly, the only aspect of my life that suffered was my music. I just haven’t had the time to practice the oboe these days. Really, it’s frustrating.

Me: The oboe?

Bill Clinton: Yeah. Wonderful instrument. Really quite classic.

Me: Don’t you mean, the saxophone?

Bill Clinton: Uh, no. I think as President of the United States, I know what I mean.

Me: Former, President of the United States.

Bill Clinton: I’m not sure I like the way you’re speaking to me, being that I was a former President of the United States.

Me: C’mon. We’re doing an interview here…

Bill Clinton: I’m missing Sportscenter, Paul…

Unfortuntately, like most greatly publicized World Summits, interviews with great men of society sometimes end without warning… Much like my exclusive interview with Bill Clinton.

But although we may not have gotten all the answers we would have liked to, we can be confident in one very important thing. That Bill Clinton…Governor, Former President and soon-to-be Author, is still as wiley and unpredictable as he was while in office and that his new book My Life should prove to be a fun and exciting read when it debuts next Tuesday.

Thanks again must go to Mr. Clinton’s current staff, for allowing said interview to be conducted.

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