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Today’s Brutal Honesty About Your Desire To Say “Scrunchie-Magoo”

“Scrunchie-Magoo.”

Really, it doesn’t mean anything. Yet you go throughout your day-to-day life saying it in situations that don’t warrant it. Hell, there are NO situations that warrant it. The saying “scrunchie-magoo” is not a real saying. They are not real words when put together. This is lunacy, I tell you!

But you have to figure, if someone is using a certain saying over and over again you might as well give them the benefit of the doubt and look up the words and see what kind of sense you can make of it. I have done this. Here are my findings:

scrunch*ie also scrunchy n. pl. scrunchies An elasticized fabric ring used chiefly by women and girls to gather or fasten the hair.

magoo no such word

migo v. i. To go astray

If perhaps you were mispronouncing “magoo” for the only word that comes close to it “migo”, the combination of your wonderful words would mean: “an elasticized fabring ring used chiefly by women and girls to fasten the hair that has gone astray” or “to go astray using an elasticized fabring ring, used chiefly by women and girls.”

Neither of these make sense in the variety of ways you use the phrase:

“Challenge me again, buddy, and I’m gonna go all scrunchie-magoo on you!”

“He was laughing so hard, I half-expected him to blow his scrunchie-magoo!”

“Scrunchie-magoo this, my friend!”

“Your’e such a scrunchie-magoo!”

You. Are. Driving. Me. Crazy. With. This. Non. Stop. Usage. Of. Two. Words. That. Don’t. Make. Sense. What. So. Ev. Er.

Sure, we’ve all seen the Mr. Magoo cartoons… A guy who wore glasses with lenses so thick he was pretty much blind. Which got him into crazy situations and not-so-good scenarios. Sure, we’ve all seen the elastic scrunchies that women used in the 80’s (please don’t use them today, ladies) and were made in Go-Go’s pink and Bananarama purple.

There’s nothing necessarily wrong with using fake words, but when you use a combination of two sugary words such as these and do not use them consistently, it starts to make the etymologist inside of me cringe with such cringe-ness, that there’s really no more room for additional cringe-age.

I have to be honest with you. I have chosen to do it here, not in person. This of course, keeps me safe and sound. Protected.

And nowhere near your scrunchie-magoo spouting gob.

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