Self-explanatory. Even for you kids without a Masters or Doctorate. (These really happened, and I still have no idea what was going on there…)
Conversation #1 I’m standing at the front counter in the Cleaners, waiting for my dry cleaning.
Clerk: You’re waiting for your dry cleaning?
Me: Uh, yeah. I just gave my ticket to the-
Clerk: Did you give it to Alonzo?
Me: No, it was that girl.
Clerk: What’s her name?
Me: Uh… I don’t know. Don’t you?
The Clerk smiles, then…
Clerk: Pretty sneaky, but I’m not biting.
Conversation #2 In an elevator, standing to the back, eavesdropping on two others.
#1: …so she told me to stop my whining or find another roommate. Can you believe it?
#2: That’s so rude. What did you do?
#1: I ignored her. For twelve days.
#2: Wasn’t that hard? Not talking to her for twelve days?
#1: Actually, no. She was out of town.
Conversation #3 At the Del Taco Drive-Thru.
Male Crackly Voice from the Magical Speaker: Hi, welcome to Del Taco.
Me: Hi there!
M.C.V.f.t.M.S.: Can I take your order?
Me: Yeah, I’d like two small red burritos and a quesadilla.
M.C.V.f.t.M.S.: Do you want a burger with that?
Me: A burger?
M.C.V.f.t.M.S.: Did I say something funny?
Me: Uh, no. I didn’t laugh.
M.C.V.f.t.M.S.: Thanks. Thanks a lot.
(Ed. note: Your guess is as good as mine.)
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In other news, I am proud to say that I have numerous exciting things in the works but since they are numerous exciting “Hollywood-esque” things in the works; in reality I have nothing exciting going on whatsoever.
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