Three Conversations That Make No Sense

Self-explanatory. Even for you kids without a Masters or Doctorate. (These really happened, and I still have no idea what was going on there…)

Conversation #1 I’m standing at the front counter in the Cleaners, waiting for my dry cleaning.

Clerk: You’re waiting for your dry cleaning?

Me: Uh, yeah. I just gave my ticket to the-

Clerk: Did you give it to Alonzo?

Me: No, it was that girl.

Clerk: What’s her name?

Me: Uh… I don’t know. Don’t you?

The Clerk smiles, then…

Clerk: Pretty sneaky, but I’m not biting.

Conversation #2 In an elevator, standing to the back, eavesdropping on two others.

#1: …so she told me to stop my whining or find another roommate. Can you believe it?

#2: That’s so rude. What did you do?

#1: I ignored her. For twelve days.

#2: Wasn’t that hard? Not talking to her for twelve days?

#1: Actually, no. She was out of town.

Conversation #3 At the Del Taco Drive-Thru.

Male Crackly Voice from the Magical Speaker: Hi, welcome to Del Taco.

Me: Hi there!

M.C.V.f.t.M.S.: Can I take your order?

Me: Yeah, I’d like two small red burritos and a quesadilla.

M.C.V.f.t.M.S.: Do you want a burger with that?

Me: A burger?

M.C.V.f.t.M.S.: Did I say something funny?

Me: Uh, no. I didn’t laugh.

M.C.V.f.t.M.S.: Thanks. Thanks a lot.

(Ed. note: Your guess is as good as mine.)

—

In other news, I am proud to say that I have numerous exciting things in the works but since they are numerous exciting “Hollywood-esque” things in the works; in reality I have nothing exciting going on whatsoever.