This Week’s Amazing Events (And Who Will Play Them In The Movie Version)
It has been a crazy week, my friends. So crazy, that in Hollywood, the development executives from movie studios are now done with buying the rights to books and newspaper articles and are now buying up people’s everyday experiences!!
I was lucky enough to get many calls this week – and the following amazing events from my week will be turned into the following movies…
Breakfast Two-Times Nicholas Cage returns to his classic comedic-form to play writer Paul Davidson — faced without having brought his lunch to work one day he must bite the bullet and eat breakfast not once…but twice! But when his boss finds out he’s been taking double his share of Cinnamon Toast Crunch, he has 24 hours to set things straight. His ex-wife and professional WNBA basketball star wife (played by Tea Leoni) doesn’t make things easy when she asks Paul (Cage) to take care of her organ-grinder monkey, Hans.
Baggage Claim Phillip Seymour Hoffman plays world-travelling travel writer Paul Davidson, who must spent one year living on the American Airlines’ Baggage Claim turnstile 3A after never getting his baggage off his flight from Dallas, Texas. While he’s there, he meets a variety of people, making friends with many locales and falling in love with a sweeper played by Rosie Perez.
The Ringer From Wes Craven and Stephen King comes this tale of horror and suspense, starring Christopher Walken as fatigued and fed-up reality TV producer Paul Davidson… Just back from a trip abroad, Walken comes home to find that a phone is ringing somewhere in his cavernous house, but he can not find it. Driven mad and almost to the edge of humanity he must disable the horrific ringer before it ruins his life, and humanity itself.
The Office DVD Just when you thought it was safe to turn on the DVD player — Crispin Glover plays social-misfit/blogger Paul Davidson, who (having lost his job) finds solace in renting the first and second seasons of the BBC hit The Office. But little does he know, five days after watching the discs back to back, he’s going to die!!! Die from embarrassment when he realizes that Blockbuster will come after him, relentlessly, for his late fees. How does a social misfit with underlying feelings of revenge survive the neverending barrage of phone calls and mailers? Only time, and a strong backbone, will tell.
Parking Spot: The Musical Richard Gere joins Chicago co-stars Renee Zellweger and Catherine Zeta-Jones in his follow-up to the Academy Award winning musical, as quick-on-his-toes/and in his car, writer Paul Davidson — searching for the elusive “one parking spot” that will provide him riches and the ability to get out of his car and go to work. Along the way, he will meet a meter maid (Zellweger) and a woman who has parked too close to other cars and cannot open her door (Zeta-Jones). Take the journey with them through such memorable numbers as “Buddy, Can You Spare a Quarter?”, “Emergency Brake, Gimmie a Break!” and the rousing choir-accompanied “Manual Transmission, Manual Faith.”
Oh, boy. (Yeah, you don’t have to say a thing.) —
Don’t forget, kiddies! Tomorrow is Friday and that means another edition of “Words For Your Enjoyment.” Where you provide the idea for a column, and I provide you a link, some notoriety and a pound and a half of ground-chuck! Woooo hooo!