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  • Paul Davidson

The “What, Oh Yeah” Factor

Our brains must be slower than our ability to hear.

How many times have you been holding a conversation with somebody and they something to you and you instinctually say, “What?” as if you didn’t hear what they said, only to have your brain suddenly click in and reveal what the person had already said just as they’re repeating themselves for the second time?

It happens to me on a daily basis and I’ve started to actually wait to say the dreaded “W” word in an attempt to give my brain the extra 3 seconds it needs for the sound that exited my fellow conversationalist’s mouth to enter my ears, travel to my brain, and allow it process so that I may understand the words that are being said to me. It doesn’t make sense to me, though, that my ears can hear something and it takes an extra three seconds for the most advanced organ in my body to register it. What’s up, brain? What’s your problem!?

Along with my brain’s inability to handle the “What, Oh Yeah” factor comes a huge list of other situations in which it is deficient. Such situations include:

The “You Talkin’ To Me?” Factor The “Come Again?” Factor The “TV is On And I Can’t Multi-task So I Can’t Hear You” Factor The “Sunlight is Shining In My Eyes And Since I Can’t See, I Can’t Hold a Conversation” Factor

and

The “Let Me Get A Calculator As Normal Addition and Subtraction Is Too Hard For My Brain” Factor

I’m sure there are other widespread cerebellum problems that plague the rest of you, but for me — the “What, Oh Yeah” factor is the worst of them. If only there was a way to speed up the processing power of my brain like normal consumers do for their computers — just pop in some RAM and you’re good to go.

Oh, if only it was that easy.

In other news — The Benefactor‘s second episode airs tonight, in which Mark Cuban subjects the players to a hilarious group of 2nd graders who help decide who’s going home. In addition, he gives everyone cash and tells them to spend it on anything they want — afterwhich he’ll decide who made the smartest decisions. Oooooh, it’s good stuff.

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