The Sorry State of Gut-Punching

Apparently, I have stumbled upon yet another freaky sub-culture of society.

Gut-punching.

I posted this awhile back and have regularly received e-mails from people in response to said referenced post with things like this:

— Paul:

Personally, I think a hard shot to the Gut feels really cool. I let my nephew slam his fist into my Belly a few times and I just laugh & he get’s a kick out of it. I like to see guy’s on TV get a fist to the gut but everybody knows that it’s just fake. They should try to look at www.malegutpunching.com it’s real and really cool to watch. Paul, if your ever up in the New York State area look me up and we can trade a few Jabs in The Gut, Very Cool. Hang Loose and stay well. —

I wasn’t personally aware that there was a sub-culture such as this. Sure, there are people who like to see women in high-heels crush bugs, worship people’s ‘f e e t’ and dress up like former classical pianists…but this? It has given me the ideas for ten brand new sub-culture obsessions which are:

1. Blowing one’s nose 2. Eating only cheese 3. Sweet-tart inhaling 4. Bread sitting 5. Toothpick regurgitation 6. Skipping to M’loo 7. Candle grinding 8. Cracker insulting 9. Befriending bugs 10. Beanie Baby Bullying

For all I know — these are already the fetishes of people worldwide. For all I know there are secret societies holding meetings right now about such things.

For all I know, e-mails are already on their way.

Woe is me.