The New Gig

As you read this entry, I am most likely sitting in a room in front of a laptop trying to come up with clever and unique ideas for the new TV show I was just hired as a Producer for. Or, I’m out to lunch. One of the two. If I’m out to lunch, I hope I’m not paying for it. I mean, it IS my first day. The production should be paying for my food. Although, if they are, I hope they tell me they’re paying for it before the end of lunch because otherwise I probably won’t order much.

Don’t you hate that when it happens? I mean, that’s obviously why our generous friends don’t tell us they’re picking up the checks until after the damn meal has ended. Let’s hope that’s not the case here.

The confidential [UNNAMED] show I’m working on is for a major [UNNAMED] television network that you’ve probably watched. It’s starring a very well-known [but UNNAMED] American personality and will air [in an UNNAMED time slot] later this year. The [UNNAMED] premise is both funny and unique all at the same time and will most likely entertain a large [UNNAMED] group of Americans when it airs, as I said, [in an UNNAMED time slot] later this year.

It’s important to me that I describe the experience as thoroughly as possible for all of you, and that’s why I’m being so honest about the above [UNCORROBORATED] details. I want you to feel like you’re behind the scenes with me, living it day to day, right there with me as I order two entres, four glasses of beer, two desserts and three appetizers when I find out that the Production is paying for my meal.

I want you to be there with me, emotionally, as I leave town to shoot in a very special [but UNDISCLOSED] location. As I beam entries from my [UNNAMED] wireless provider to my blog, like a modern day Charles Lindburgh without his son’s medical impediment. I want you to invest yourself in all the juicy [but UNNAMED] details.

That’s why I do this. For you.

All. For. You.

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In other news… I love you so much, it hurts.