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  • Paul Davidson

Russell Crowe is Afraid of Bean Burritos

It’s true. Russell Crowe would rather have his entrails pulled from his stomach and dragged out into the center of a beautiful Scandinavian village on a hot summer day than get 100 feet near a Taco Bell Bean Burrito.

Don’t ask me how I know or why I know but when I was recently at a public event here in Hollywood I was able to overhear a conversation he was having with Ron Howard about how he had a burrito incident once when he was younger here in the States. How he had picked up three 69 cent bean burritos at Taco Bell (they were that cheap back then) and proceeded to drive into incoming traffic while taking a bite which forced (via gravity) the bean juice onto his pants and in through his zipper (which was open just a tad) and gave him a 2nd degree burn which affected him for some time after. But the incident did not only affect his hatred of all things Taco Bell, but caused him to stay away from even the frozen kinds in the frozen foods aisle at his local supermarkets.

Then there’s Woody Harrelson, who is deathly afraid of olives. Seems that a few years back at the Premiere party for Anger Management in which Woody played a transvestite, Jack Nicholson (as a joke) emptied a jar of olives down the back of Woody’s shirt and unfortunately the pimentos stuck to his back like leeches. Woody didn’t realize he hadn’t removed all of the pimentos and woke up the next morning (after a night of partying) with his body covered in ants who were feasting on his pimento back leeches. It freaked out Woody so much, that now, olives are his most evil foe.

While we’re at it, there’s no reason to leave Camryn Mannheim of The Practice out of the mix. I once was waiting in line at a local movie theater chain and Camryn was standing right behind me. I pulled out one of those See’s candy chocolate lollipops and she turned white as soon as she saw it. She tapped me on the shoulder and said, “If you don’t put that beautiful See’s chocolate lollipop away this minute, I’m going to probably throw up all over your head…” Of course, who was I to cause someone’s sickness, so I immediately put it away. She seemed somewhat better, but still remained white until she moved away from the line.

As fears continue to paralyze celebs, I have continued to catalogue their most ludicrious fears, which are:

Matthew Fox (of Lost): Stopwatches that click Dean Cain: Liquid soap Anthony Hopkins: Itchy Beneton sweaters Brad Renfro: Black beans Jessica Simpson: Filet of fish Elisabeth Shue: People whose hands are smaller than hers Bruce Willis: Hair-pieces made from monkey hair Jennifer Jason Leigh: Hungry Man TV Dinners Christian Bale: Collectible figurines of little girls Michael Douglas: Paninis Christina Applegate: David Faustino John Goodman: I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter Katey Segal: Steam from irons Jeff Probst (of Survivor): Chicken fajitas Sarah Jessica Parker: Cream filled anything Vincent D’Onofrio: Anything Hello Kitty related Cameron Diaz: Wax candy teeth that are red

You see? Celebrities are, once again, afraid of the kinds of things that normal people are afraid of! So the next time you reel back in horror at seeing a Hello Kitty Electronic Purse — don’t fret.

You and Vincent D’Onofrio have a lot in common!

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