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  • Paul Davidson

Questions, Out of Retirement

First of all, before I tell you about how “The Question Game” came out of retirement, I want to tell you that the above graphic has been showing up on other people’s blogs lately. I am categorically opposed to people stealing the graphics from WFME and passing them off as their own. It is just plain wrong. Whether or not I stole them from Google Images in the first place, well, shouldn’t have any bearing on this current argument. Uh huh.

Now, back to our favorite Question game, where you choose the lesser of two evils. Self-explanatory. Your answers are welcomed with open arms and a hot-chewy Churro. (I’ll talk about my idea for a cereal called “CHURROS” in another post.)

Question #1 Pick which one suits you best.

a. You will live a life not unlike the role Arnold Schwartzenegger played in Total Recall where every so often, the growth on your stomach will push out and resemble a small child with the voice of a man, which is actually a prophet. The prophet will reguarly appear at inopportune times and request that you lift your shirt so he may expound on whatever he wants to expound on.

b. You will have a growth on your stomach the size of a baby that, every time you swallow food, will make a screaming and crying sound for 30 seconds.

Question #2 One or the other, word to your brother…

a. A new reality TV show will be created around your life (not unlike the movie ED TV) but the cameras will film and broadcast you in every single daily routine including bathroom pitstops and sexual relations. Nothing is off limits. The results will be broadcast LIVE every night on prime time television.

b. A new reality TV show will be created around the life of your parents and will film and broadcast them in every single daily rountine including bathroom pitstops and sexual relations. And you must watch it every night it is on.

Question #3 Choose wisely, or end up like that guy in the third Indiana Jones movie who didn’t choose wisely and ended up getting all crunchy and old and collapsed into a pile of dust…

a. Every time someone shakes your hand, streams of liquid shoot out of the pores at the base of your eyes, squirting the person who just shook your hand in the eyes as well. You will not be able to warn people about such an experience, but (if you want) you may never agree to shake people’s hands although that might not look too good.

b. Every time someone shakes your hand, it is sweaty to the point of gross.

Question #4 A or B. She sells sea shells by the sea shore.

a. You will crash land on a desert island with only one CD and a neverending supply of batteries and a portable CD player. The CD will be the first one as published by the boy band, O Town. You must listen to it constantly, and may never take the ear phones off until you are rescued which could take anywhere from 12 months to 4 years.

b. You will crash land on a desert island with the band, O Town.

Question 5 I am sick of telling you how to play this game.

a. At work, as far as anyone is concerned, you are no longer who you used to be, but you are “Michael Pare”, who starred in the movie Eddie and the Cruisers. Yet, you are not Michael Pare, you are the character of Eddie. You will constantly talk about that movie and constantly sing (without warning) the theme song from the movie, “On The Dark Side.” At lunchtime, you will always be required to pull someone aside and tell them how you went missing during the height of the band’s success and you have, just now, returned. You’re looking to start up the band again, and will hold auditions whenever possible.

b. You must refer to your boss as “dickhead” whenever you see him.

Aaah, it’s nice to have the questions back.

In other news, tomorrow is Thursday which is a day before Friday, which means we’re two days away from another edition of Words For Your Enjoyment… That’s where you provide an idea for me to steal (like the above graphic of a Question Mark) and I’ll give you credit for absolutely nothing. It’s like a pyramid scheme, except you don’t give me money and I never call you again… You give me ideas, and I never call you because I never called you in the first place.

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