With all this talk about Tom Cruise lately, it got me to thinking back about Top Gun and how Cruise had that great flight call-sign “Maverick” and how Val Kilmer had that great call-sign “Iceman” and how Anthony Edwards had that not-so-great call-sign “Goose.”
Like they always say, it’s the guy with the bad call-sign (or the Enterprise ensign with the red outfit) who always ends up getting it in the end.
I’ve decided that my new top gun call-sign will be, from this day forward, Raptor.
If you think about it, a name like Paul is all fine and good and bible-esque and possibly is one of those names that people can respect but now that I’ve got my own cool Top Gun call-sign, well, I think the respect and fear factor will so go over the top (if you know what I mean.) For example, take a look at these two conversations and see how having a Top Gun call sign makes all the difference in the world:
(At Starbuck’s, Pre-Top Gun Callsign)
Them: Hello, sir. How can I help you? Me: Coffee please. Them: That’ll be three-fifty, sir. Me: Here you go! Them: Thanks, sir. Come again.
(At Starbuck’s, Post-Top Gun Callsign)
Them: Ohmigosh, it’s Raptor. What do you want!? Me: Coffee. Now. Them: Take it, Raptor! Just take it. Me: [Walks out the door] Them: [to co-worker] That was Raptor.
As you can see, not only does having a Top Gun callsign cause others to respect and possibly even fear you, but it causes the callsign holder (i.e., me) to be a little more terse in my responses, and a little less polite — but you know, all with a good heart about it.
Do you have your own Top Gun callsign?
I’d love to go out sometime in public only using my Top Gun callsign and constantly use such a callsign for all in the world to hear. You know, I imagine me (Raptor) and my co-pilot/friend (Kangaroo) out at a bar, trying to pick up chicks:
Me: Yeah, I’m Raptor. That’s Kanagroo. Her: Excuse me? Him: Yeah. He’s Raptor. I’m Kangaroo. Her Friend: What? Me: You know. Our Top Gun callsigns. Her: Your what-gun, what? Me: Top Gun? The Movie? Her Friend: Yeah, we gotta go. See ya.
Sometimes, even in my head, it doesn’t turn out the way it’s supposed to.
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In other news, my article in this month’s Wired Magazine on The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy is now available online for your digital perusal.
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