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  • Paul Davidson

My Childhood Memories Are No Longer

Remembering the great memories of your childhood are far better than reliving them, as was experienced late last night while watching the first season of The Greatest American Hero on DVD.

As a child, I remember it being the coolest, most exciting, heart-palpitating adventure superhero series I’d ever seen. Every time the theme song played on the radio I was walking on air, feeling those safe and happy memories flooding back into my soul. But really, honestly, The Greatest American Hero was sort of slow. And don’t get me started on The Greatest American Heroine, an absolutely horrid affair.

Woe is me.

And when you really think back to all the movies and TV shows you absolutely LOVED as a kid, that you must absolutely HAVE TO BUY on DVD, and then you do and you watch them and they “suck ass”, you’d better believe you are devaluing your childhood and your memories and in a sense aren’t you just really erasing all of those memories a la Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind?

Lately, things have gotten worse. In an attempt to make more money, studios have been releasing everything from their catalogs on DVD. And in an attempt to burn more money, I have been buying them. Here is a list of the movies and shows that no longer live up to my happy childhood memories:

The Real Genius Hardcastle & McCormick Mork & Mindy Hot Dog: The Movie Return of the Jedi Soap: First Season Private School For Girls She’s Having a Baby A View To A Kill Too Close For Comfort ALF

Piece by piece, my childhood memories are no longer. I no longer remember a childhood filled with glee and happiness and a warmth that rivaled the womb. Now I suspect that my entire childhood was wasted by watching crappy TV and movies.

Sadly, it’s probably true.

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