The time has come to admit to what I’ve been spending all my free time doing lately.
You have to understand that as a child, there are many issues that cause lifelong psychological problems. From being teased on the playground to being called names, to being challenged by stronger more annoying children. These moments manifest themselves later in life and cause adults to go about what some may consider worthless or weird activities.
However, I don’t consider watching the Stallone movie Over the Top in an attempt to learn the ins and outs of arm wrestling so I can find the bullies from my childhood and challenge them to an arm wrestling competition (of which I will now totally win) to be worthless, weird or strange. I find it to be pretty damn cool.
One of the most important elements in being able to beat your childhood bully in an arm wrestling competition has to be Stallone’s trademark “over the top” winning move. It’s where, no matter how badly you are losing… No matter how much pain your arm is in… No matter how much stronger or wiser or superior your bully-competition may be — all you have to do is re-adjust your hand, taking each finger up off the opponent’s hand and replacing them back down in a slightly different place…
And you will win, hands down.
I have studied Over the Top for years now, drafting Excel spreadsheets and charts that have analyzed every arm wrestling scene in the movie… And it is obvious to me that the “over the top” arm wrestling (winning) move will serve me well in my quest to embarass and psychological scar any bullies that teased me as a child. I am ready. I am willing. And I have Stallone’s movie wisdom on my side.
The next step, of course, is to go to the local sporting goods store and purchase what I believe to be a glove that will assist me in my “over the top” move. Something that breathes. Seriously, I have to get something that breathes.
As for finding the bullies…that’s something I’ll have to get to. But as long as I know I can beat them to a bloody pulp in an arm wrestling competition, finding them is the least of my worries.