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  • Paul Davidson

King of the HOB

Aaah, free food.

Ended the week by attending the End of Season party for The King of Queens last night at the House of Blues up on Sunset Boulevard. The usuals were there: Kevin James, Leah Remini, Lou Ferrigno, Anne Meara, Patton Oswalt, Nicole Sullivan and Jerry Stiller.

Jerry Stiller was hilarious. The guy was wearing these huge earplugs in his ear and locked eyes with me and came over to say hello. (You may or may not know that he provided a great quote for the back of my book, so we’ve obviously had run-ins before.) The hilarious thing was that since he had the earplugs in, the volume of his voice was way too low. But of course, no one was telling him this.

And what did I do? I am obviously a hypocrite because I stood there and tried to hear what he was saying at the low volume, but instead of telling him he was speaking too low, I just laughed when he laughed and pretended to understand what he was telling me. I was just like all those other people who “aren’t listening” in one of my previous posts.

Don’t get me wrong – I heard enough. He asked how the book was doing, was the TV version happening yet and something about Steve Allen and old-time comedians. He’s a great, very nice guy. Gracious, professional and really cool. Glad he continues to rake in the huuuuuuge cash.

When I finished that conversation with him, I couldn’t help but imagine a scenario where some guy’s future is dependent on running into and having this one very important conversation with a bigwig at some party. However, there’s so much noise that when the guy finally has the conversation and it’s over with — he has NO IDEA what the guy has even said to him, but didn’t want to be rude and ask him to speak louder. Then, the guy doesn’t know – is his future set, or not? I mean, what if Jerry Stiller had said to me that his son Ben Stiller read my book and wanted to star in the movie version and all I did was nod and smile. Boy, how sucky would that be?

The problems with people not wanting to be rude, I guess.

In other news, a friend of mine just bought a house which was a real fixer-upper. I mean, this thing was like the eyesore of the neighborhood. Anyway, he lumped all his savings into buying the house and was parked outside of it the other afternoon waiting for a contractor to show up and saw a pair of little girls walk past the house. They had the following, hilarious conversation as they looked at his new investment:

Girl #1: Oooh, look at that house. I dare you to go knock on the door.

Girl #2: No waaaaay. I bet it’s haunted.

Girl #1 taps Girl #2 who screams, startled. The two run down the sidewalk, screaming. Needless to say, my friend was not pleased — his new investment had just been dubbed the local “haunted house.” I found it to be pretty damn funny.

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