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Katie Couric vs. Jane Pauley

I was trying to figure out who would win in a fight between Katie Couric and Jane Pauley when I found out I was going to have to work today.

Working on a Saturday after working a whole week. Can you believe it? It’s what happens when the Network loves the pitch of the new show but has “a few little tweaks” and you’ve got to get them done before Monday.

Nevertheless, in regards to Katie Couric and Jane Pauley I’ve broken it down to skills and personality traits and I think when you’ve read through it all you’ll agree with my final decision.

Katie Couric Cute +1 Smart +2 Friends with Al Roker (who could help in the fight) +3 Single (with more time to practice) +2 Has a Personal Trainer named Electro +2 Up to Date on Current Events +1 Short Haircut (no tangling) +2 High-Pitched Voice (for ear-damage) +1

Jane Pauley Has Been Around the Block +1 Up to Date on News Magazine Shows +1 Friends with Bryant Gumbel (who could kick Al Roker’s ass) +3 Older and Wiser +1 Knows how to do the Full Nelson (she learned for a newsreport) +2 Wrinkled-face will catch the light and distract Katie +1 Political cartoonist-husband could provide sharp paper for cuts +1 High pain threshold +3

Final Score: Katie Couric: 14 Jane Pauley: 13

Winner: Katie Couric

Let the numbers stand alone.

In other news — did I mention I have to work today?

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