It’s no secret that I got a few Christmas presents “from the stars.”
Here, in Hollywood — when gifts are given out in December to people who know stars, work with stars, or know stars well enough to make them feel guilty for not giving you a gift — you usually get one. They are always the latest and the greatest. Like, last year — iPods were given out all over the place.
This year? Sirius Satellite Radio.
But you see — what you get is the radio transceiver (which you are able to put into your car) and the kit to install it in your car. And all at once, you are excited and then extremely suspicious because it is YOU who will have to install this wonderful present in your car.
I have enough trouble replacing a new roll of toilet paper on the thingie in the bathroom.
Knowing people in Hollywood, I suspect that a large group of people will be re-gifting these Sirius tuners simply because there is no easy way to get them working in your car. As I sit here and type, hundreds of them are probably being rewrapped for the regifting process.
But not me.
I read the instructions last night. What scared me the most were the lines in the instruction booklet that refer to having to disconnect the negative charge to your car battery before you start the installation process. There was the statement that says you may have to remove portions of the inside of your car, like side panels and roof panels. And then, there’s the line that tells you that you might have to remove your car’s rear lights so you can thread the magnetic satellite antenna through that.
I put the instruction booklet away and did a search for Sirius Satellite installers in my area.
I long to be THAT guy. That guy who can replace a towel bar in the bathroom without having the wall crumble beneath my handiwork. I long to be that guy who can fix a pipe or tweak a garbage disposal without any drama. I want to be able to install my Sirius Satellite transceiver without breaking my car.
I don’t know that it’s possible.
Really, I don’t.