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  • Paul Davidson

I Have Deleted Your TiVo’d Shows But Lied Repeatedly About It

It’s time for me to come clean.

I was sitting in front of the TV the other day and saw that my beloved TiVo was planning on deleting a variety of my classic Brady Bunch episodes (the ones with Johnny Bravo) and some of my Law & Orders and yet you had a list of Design on a Dime(s) and Entertainment Tonights and that the TiVo was almost to capacity and well, someone (or some show) was going to have to take the fall for it.

Although my finger hovered above the CLEAR button while I had your shows selected in my sights, once the first one was sent to the trash, accompanied by a lovely little TiVo sound — killing off the rest of them was easy as pie. It was the so-called gateway drug to bigger and badder TiVo behavior on my part.

Fearing my shows would continue to be overrun by your home & garden and entertainment and cheesy shows that no one watches but you — I accidentally found my way into the Season Pass menu where I found myself moving the “importance level” of your Season Passes to the bottom of the list under shows like Law & Order, Alf and a myriad of reality shows. Now, even Oprah would have to fight her way to the top of the Season Pass chain, although without you knowing Oprah had been lowered to the bottom, she would never find her way up to the top ever again.

I have sabotaged your shows, your season passes and I have made sure that the shows I love (on both tuners) always take precedence. But I have never come clean and have feigned innocence and stupidity when asked how in the hell a Season Passed show could never be recorded.

“It must have just screwed up,” I’d say. “Modern technology, what do you expect!”

But really, honestly, I have deleted your TiVo’d shows, I have lowered the priority levels of all of your Season Pass shows and I have made sure to lock out your Discovery Channel and Travel Channel programs so they will never see the light of day. At first I was giddy about it, now I’m just sick about it.

But fortunately, you don’t read my blog — so you will never know.

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