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  • Paul Davidson

I Could Be Your Two-Convo Multi-Hyphenate Listener

Talk to me.

Go ahead, look me in the eyes and talk to me. Know that if you look me in the eyes and talk to me that I will respond with facial expressions, conversation and funny anecdotes. Know that if you engage me in conversation I will invest in said conversation no matter what happens.

Even if an even more intriguing conversation starts to happen behind you.

That’s because I have the unique talent of being able to talk to you, engage you in conversation, and make you feel like you’re the most important person in the world — all while listening intently to another conversation going on behind you, behind me, or to the side.

Sure, my verbose reactions to your statements may quickly devolve into things like “Uh huh” and “Yeah, totally” and “So true” and “Mmmhmm” and “Ahhh”, and when you ask me a question I may respond with things like “Oh, for sure” or “Maybe, maybe not” or “I suppose” or “Yeah…Nah” or “Say again?” but I will never let you believe that you’re not getting 110% of my attention.

That’s because I am so your two-convo multi-hypenate listener.

Just so you know, my attention will often be split into two (I havae 220% of listening capability, FYI) when a couple is either having an argument, a celebrity couple is gossping, or if two people are talking about me. Then again, if two people are talking about celery, dirt, air, medical prescriptions, baby toys, rocks or ingesting bad sushi — I will probably split my attention as well.

Come to think of it, if anyone (anywhere) is having a conversation within earshot while you and I have a spirited conversation — I will engage my two-convo multi-hyphenate listening skills and go to town.

You will never know. You will never suspect. You will never catch on. You will never believe it’s hapenning.

Because you will be engaged in the most fascinating, humorous, life-altering conversation on the face of the Earth, and despite the fact that my eyes aren’t looking at you any longer and I seem distracted, and I’m fidgeting and crooking my head towards another two people — you will never believe that I could be so rude as to listen to someone else’s conversation while I am talking to you.

Because that would be just plain rude.

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