I am the king of encouraging words.
Assuming you were poised on the edge of starting a new project, inventing a new toy, applying for a new job, getting the courage together to break up with a psycho date-mate, trying to psyche yourself up for jumping out of a plane, bungee jumping, marathon running or losing weight — I would be right there beside you with my stack of encouraging word cards.
Yes, you heard correctly. I have a stack of encouraging word cards which I invented on January 12th, 2003 after I slipped and fell on a wet kitchen floor and slammed my head against the granite countertop. When I awoke, the idea for creating a deck of encouraging word cards filled my head. I sat down immediately, in a quest to become the world’s encourager, and fashioned a stack of cards that included (but were not limited to) the following phrases:
Good work, buddy! Way to go! Keep it up, Frankie! Oh, yes way. Don’t give up, shmoopy! Eiw bump bump, chick, chicka, chicka! Put the pedal to the metal!! Ha Ha Ha, You know it! All the rest of those people suck! Chin up, shoulders forward, kick ass! Pudding in the hand is worth two in the bowl! Rawk on! Yeaaaaaaaaaah!
Armed with my deck of encouraging word cards, I could be your encourager. There in the dark times. There for you and yours when the chips are down and the food is warm. Available to pump you up when there’s no air left to pump. Present and at attention when you fear there is no way to go but down in the gutter.
I could be your encourager and I would do it with zest, enthusiasm and my deck of encouraging word cards — which I invented after I knocked my head against a granite countertop.
Some have said, if you came up with these phrases after hitting your head, how can you be sure that such cards are really good encouraging words? How can the result of stupidity and a lack of coordination actually produce a worthwhile encouragement-aid?
Reach your potential! Do good! You run circles around everyone else!
How could a deck of 53 encouraging word cards (yes, we have one more card than a deck of playing cards which makes our deck better) change people’s attitudes and give them the courage to stand up to their fear, worry and insecurities?
Reach for it! Kick some major butt, buddy boy! If I were you, I’d be loving myself right now!
Fifty-three cards of encouraging words. Fifty-three reasons to keep on plugging away. Fifty-three cards, invented on the morning of January 12th after a granite countertop met my skull.
Some say the damage was irreparable. Some say I am not sane enough to be someone else’s encourager. But others simply look at card 53 and know that they are wrong and I am right.
Instataneous success is yours!
In other news, WFME reaches out to all you UK’ers out there to translate a dream I had last night. The dream involved me and a friend sitting in a UK bar where a British woman sat down next to us. Upon hearing us talk about another woman’s voluptious chest she said: “You Americans are such toppers!
For god’s sake. Is “topper” even a word that people in the UK use? If not, my dream-world is a bit skewed and could really use an encourager.