I Can Convince You That Chicken Strips Are Better Than Fish Sticks
Yes, I will repeat the title of this post: I can convince you that chicken strips are better than fish sticks. And they are not only better than fish sticks, but they put the major slam down on fish sticks. I would even go so far as to say that chicken strips are like the Pope whereas fish sticks are like the current misdirected leaders of the future Iraqi government.
And if you get what that means (because I don’t) then may the great God above bless you with a thousand papal-blessings.
If you were to allow me into your house and permit me to stand beside you as you stare into the expanse that is your freezer, I would do my best to convince you of the truth. I would first point out as we stared at the yellowish-green box of fish sticks and the reddish-blue box of chicken strips that it is a historical fact that all the successful restaurants and fast food chains decorate their stores in red and blue and not in yellow and green. I might even go so far as to point out that yellow and green remind us of bodily functions and not-so-normal bodily functions and who wants to eat food out of a box that color.
I may even throw in a conspiracy theory and say that the FDA has secretly asked all fish stick makers to color their boxes in such a color-scheme so as to tell which Americans are more apt to be patriotic (red, WHITE and blue) and not supporters of far away empires whose flags may include the colors yellow and green.
You would probably just laugh and reach for the fish sticks. And that would totally be your decision to make. Your last decision as a free American, of course. But still, at least you could say to the rest of the detainees in that undisclosed location, that you got to make one sweeping, life-changing decision before the men in black took you away.
Good for you!