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  • Paul Davidson

Gas Prices, Big Wheels

I came up with what I believe to be a Nobel Prize winning idea today.

I was sitting in my car, thinking about how I needed to fill up on gas, which would cost me over 35 bucks just to do it and how I was stuck in traffic and how annoying it was and how the stench of big trucks and really old Pacers were clogging my lungs and how I wished there was a solution to all of it.

Big Wheels. Instead of cars.

Just sit back and think about it for a moment. Don’t rush to judgement. Don’t roll your eyes and say to yourself, “Oh, there he goes again.”

Big Wheels. Let it sink in.

Plastic toys with tires that never go flat because they’re made of hard plastic. Pedals that give you aerobic exercise unlike those cars which have been, lately, reported to add pounds to your lethargic body. Multi-colored parts that don’t ever come out of nowhere so you can’t see them. No blind spots since, well, there’s no roof.

Big Wheels. It’s starting to sound like a good idea now, isn’t it? A Nobel Prize winning idea, eh?

We would not longer need gasoline to power our Big Wheels which, instead, run on people power. We would no longer be slaves to the Middle East and their oil. We would no longer pay huge amounts for insurance since our insurance wouldn’t be necessary. Get in an accident, and there’s no damage since every vehicle is a plastic Big Wheel.

You’re liking me now, aren’t you?

There would be no car envy, no luxury automobiles, no embarrassing dates with women who are dating you just for the kind of car you drive. No car would be faster than another and tickets would almost be unnecessary (unless you’re running red lights or something). Living in a world with Big Wheels instead of automobiles would pretty much change the World and usher in Peace on Earth.

Like I said. Nobel Prize.

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