top of page
Search
  • Paul Davidson

Do-It-Yourself Rant

Some people wonder where my rants come from.

To be perfectly honest, before I started Words For Your Enjoyment back in February of this year, I picked up a little known book about Blogging. Chapter Three was specifically dedicated to the “rant”, a common online blog writing technique that some people have yet to master. One’s reward for finishing reading chapter three, or just skipping to the last two pages, was a “Do-It-Yourself Rant” form. A simple outline to help you create your own rants for just about anything.

I felt that now was as good a time as any to share it with all of you. I have reprinted it just as it was printed in this book but will refrain from mentioning the title as to not piss anyone off…

Do-It-Yourself Rant

Opening Sentence: Oh boy, I just cannot stand/handle/cope with/deal with/face [insert the thing you cannot stand/handle/cope with/deal with/face here]!

First Paragraph (The reasons): Let me tell you why I just cannot stand/handle/cope with/deal with/face [insert the thing you cannot stand/handle/cope with/deal with/face here]! I mean, it just gets me all steamed/annoyed/frustrated/pissed off and I find that it has disrupted my work/family life/emotional stability/ability to perform in the bedroom/[or other answer here].

Second Paragraph (The example from a long time ago): A long time ago I had an incident/experience/terror-filled evening where I came face to face with [insert the thing you cannot stand/handle/cope with/deal with/face here] and it caused me to [insert result of said terror-filled evening]. (Go on to explain the remainder of said incident from a long time ago.)

Third Paragraph (The random conclusion): Which brings me to my point which relates to bugs/toilet paper/pixie sticks/jello/socks/hand lotion/electrical outlets/plastic fasteners/twisty-ties/[insert other related item here that is not serious or important].

Fourth Paragraph (The runaround): (Here’s where you, the amazing writer, takes everything you’ve mentioned, mentions it again but with a lack of punctuation or grammar (one paragraph with no period or punctuation is key) and which eventually references your very first sentence.

Fifth Paragraph (The one line paragraph): And that’s the way [insert the thing you cannot stand/handle/cope with/deal with/face here] is. (You may substitute “And that’s the way” with “So long, farewell”, “You knew it was coming”, “Hahaha, you’re so busted!”, “Two men enter, one man leaves”, and/or “That’s what you get for kicking me in the groin!”)

Be creative. And go with your instincts!

0 views0 comments

Recent Posts

See All

Dear All of You, First of all, I’d like to say that I’m extremely thankful that I’ll be spending Thanksgiving with you today. Having you share today’s festivities with me is a wonderful thing and I h

bottom of page