Last night, I witnessed something I never thought I’d see.
William (Bill) Devane, best known for his role as Gregory “Greg” Sumner on the TV show Knots Landing was stood up.
While Gregory “Greg” Sumner would have never sat around for an hour (yes, an hour) waiting for a date at a local sushi restaurant, apparently William “Bill” Devane would. And there he sat, drinking beer after beer, ordering plate of sushi after plate of sushi until he finally got fed up with the whole enterprise. And about thirty seconds after paying, and about thirty seconds before leaving, his date (or dinner meeting) or what not — she showed up.
Bill: “I’ve been waiting for you for an hour!”
Her: “Oh my gosh, Bill! I was waiting outside!”
Bill: “You were waiting outside? I looked outside, I didn’t see you. Where were you?”
Her: “Well, I was in the pet store for awhile.”
Bill: “I waited in here for an hour.”
Her: “I’m so sorry, Bill!”
Bill: “Well, I guess you’ll want to still eat, then?”
Of course, Bill wasn’t too worried about staying and ordered another beer and went on to rail against a variety of life’s biggest problems for an actor. You know, a manager that doesn’t really work for him… Losing out on acting gigs… And so on and so on and so on.
Apparently, yes — celebrities (even William “Bill” Devane get stood up for dates. Periodically wait around for hours. And drink beer after beer after beer. But even more than that, celebrities do other real-life things that you could never imagine.
Like for example, did you know that Hilary Duff likes to lick a lollipop until it’s totally gone? No biting, no crunching or nothing? She doesn’t even pay someone to do it for her!! And did you know that Woody Harrelson has often been seen buying toilet paper at the supermarket for himself!? That’s right, he’s a star who likes to wipe his butt all by his lonesome. And what about Shirley MacLaine — did you know that she’s been spotted recently in Palm Springs jumping rope in her backyard? No more electrically stimulated exercise while she’s sitting on her couch — she’s out there sweating to the oldies and using her limbs to do it, too!
Aah, celebrities. They’re just like you and me.
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