A Month of Berries

Some people don’t quite know what the real meaning of the word berry is. Some think it’s a small, roundish little juicy fruit-bullet, but in reality…it isn’t.

According to Webster’s Ninth Collegiate Dictionary, a berry is: Any learned moment or knowledge imparted to one via the writing of, or experiencing through, any type of remembered-journal or daily narrative.

As I have now reached a full month using the TypePad service, I would like to look back at the last month of heavy blog contributing and point out all of the “berries” that I’ve amassed as a result of such an experience. I will list these “berries” in a Top Ten list of sorts (for those who are fans of lists).

— Top 10 Blog Berries

10. Someone named “Jerry” does not seem pleased when I mention “the world of screenwriting.”

09. The amount of hits I receive per day divided by the amount of times I stick a Q-Tip deep in my ear canal, usually equals the amount of hits I receive per day.

08. The subjects people love reading about but decline commenting about include (but are not limited to): Raisins, Joe Ezsterhas, my dog, anal leakage, my friendship with Denzel Washington and the ability of Katie Couric to kick Jane Pauley’s ass.

07. I have a huge fan in someone who calls themselves “redwhore”.

06. While posting a link to someone else’s blog gets you thanked, posting naked pictures of someone else’s girlfriend doesn’t.

05. There’s no such word as “thunked”.

04. I can actually scratch my throat by making this weird duck-call sound, which does scratch my throat but causes anyone around me to deny that they know me.

03. More people searching for information on Average Joe, The O.C. and causes of anal leakage find their way here than people searching for plain old me.

02. Sometimes when we touch, the honesty’s too much, and I have to close my eyes and cry.

01. Anything having to do with jelly beans and toes, grosses people out.

—

Learned much, I have.