A Brief Conversation About T-Shirts With Tobey Maguire’s Face On Them

(The following conversation took place on Wednesday, March 23rd at the Starbucks on Little Santa Monica in Beverly Hills at approximately 2:34PM PST.)

Him: I’m thinking about selling t-shirts with Tobey Maguire’s face on them.

Her: Oh, really.

Him: Yeah, what do you think?

Her: You’re going to sell t-shirts with Spiderman’s face on it? You’ll so get sued.

Him: Not SPIDERMAN’s face. Tobey Maguire’s face.

Her: Tobey Maguire IS Spiderman.

Him: And James Leer.

Her: James Leer?

Him: From that movie Wonder Boys…?

Her: Oh, whatever. He’s Spiderman.

(A long thoughtful beat, then-)

Him: Maybe James Franco. Maybe I’ll sell t-shirts with James Franco’s face on them.

Her: Green Goblin’s son?

Him: James Dean.

Her: Why don’t you just sell t-shirts with your own face on them. You’ll probably have just as much luck with that.

Him: I’m getting the feeling you think this is a stupid idea.

Her: You’re getting the feeling I think this is a stupid idea.

Him: That’s what I said.

Her: Well, at least you’re perceptive.