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Today’s Imaginary Conversation With Britney’s Confirmed Unborn Fetus

You may remember WFME’s July 3rd entry in which I had an imaginary conversation with Britney Spear’s unconfirmed, unborn fetus.

Well, as a result of yesterday’s big news — a confirmation that indeed, Britney Spears is carting around an unborn fetus in her tummy, I was one of the first people permitted to revisit the subject and got my one-on-one interview. Based on my wonderful repoire with Brit Brit’s unconfirmed unborn fetus, it was no doubt that this interview was all mine.

The following interview took place on April 12th, 2005.

Me: Well, well, well…

Britney Spear’s Confirmed Unborn Fetus: Tee hee.

Me: You must be very happy.

Britney Spear’s Confirmed Unborn Fetus: You tell me… If you were unconfirmed, then suddenly you became confirmed, well, it’s an awfully exciting day for me. I’m real! I’m confirmed! People really like me!

Me: You’ve been in the news everywhere. Even your mom’s personal website wrote a little something about how excited your mom and dad are about this whole thing. How did that make you feel?

Britney Spear’s Confirmed Unborn Fetus: The confirmation was so cooooool. Really, awesome!! Tee hee hee.

Me: Here’s the thing though, Britney Spear’s Confirmed Unborn Fetus — you were unconfirmed then became confirmed. But you’re still unborn and still a fetus. Have any feelings about that?

Britney Spear’s Confirmed Unborn Fetus: I can’t wait to be born and no longer be a fetus! That’ll be soooooo cool. I think the word ‘fetus’ is gross. Eiwwww. Tee hee.

Me: Someday you’ll be Britney’s Confirmed Born Un-Fetus!

Britney Spear’s Confirmed Unborn Fetus: B.C.B.U.F for short! We can print that on T-shirts or something. Or maybe on some of those Lance Armstrong plastic bracelets!

Me: Good idea! So, tell me…what’s changed in there since we last talked?

Britney Spear’s Confirmed Unborn Fetus: Well… I got a bigger room… Tee hee. It’s nothing compared to what I’ll get when I’m born! I’d better get a big room when I’m born or I’ll throw a fit! Tee hee. Do you think I’ll get a big room when I’m born?

Me: I guarantee it.

Britney Spear’s Confirmed Unborn Fetus: Tee hee.

Me: You’ve been in a lot of rag mags lately — they’ve been referring to you as “the bump” or “the bulge” and you’re always covered up… Any thoughts?

Britney Spear’s Confirmed Unborn Fetus: Mommy’s just being protective of me. Keeps me out of the sun, out of the magazines… I’d rather you call me “the bulge” instead of the “fetus”. Tee hee.

Me: Anything you’d like to share with your fans?

Britney Spear’s Confirmed Unborn Fetus: Thank you, fans!!! I’m so excited!! Tee hee. I can’t wait to be born! Yay!!!!

Me: Thanks, Britney Spear’s Confirmed Unborn Fetus!

Britney Spear’s Confirmed Unborn Fetus: No problemo, Pauly! I’m learning Spanish in here, by the way!

Me: Great, Britney Spear’s Confirmed Unborn Fetus!

Britney Spear’s Confirmed Unborn Fetus: Yay!!

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