I’m a fan of all things lowercase.
People don’t really like to talk about stuff like that because if you’ve got them cornered somewhere and you start asking them their feelings on lowercase versus uppercase, they just look at you like you’re insane. I mean, why the hell do you want to know this answer? What hidden agenda do you have? Are you feeding their lowercase/uppercase preferences to some hidden governmental agency who will use it to arrest them and their loved ones?
Some people wonder these exact things.
I like lowercase words and phrases for many reasons. First and foremost, it’s rebellious. If you don’t capitalize your sentences, man are you spitting a big ‘ol loogie in the face of the establishment. Not to mention, it throws people off. Let’s look at an example…
You see: The quick brown fox jumped over the lazy dog.
You think: Wow. There’s this quick brown fox and he’s so athletic, look’t this little critter, jumping over that big fat lazy dog. God, talk about gluttony.
Okay. Now, let’s look at the lowercase version.
You see: the quick brown fox jumped over the lazy dog.
You think: Johnny, the quick brown fox? My mother’s ex-husband the ex-con and his buddies who were drinking beer and the quick brown fox jumped over the lazy dog? Who the hell is with this quick brown fox? Is this irony? Is it a dead, stuffed fox? What am I missing from this story? Damn you, whoever you are who put this unfinished sentence out there for me to read! My head hurts, goddammit! Where’s my migraine medication. Uugggh. The pain. Where’s the doctor’s emergency phone number, I gotta get some of that Imitrex stuff…
…lowercase sentences and words are spontaneous and suspicious and extremely wiley while also being a way to communicate a lack of respect for any order in society… And don’t get me started on punctuation or lacks of commas. That’s just blasphemous.
…so in conclusion — i am a big fan of all things lowercase… and you can’t stop me.
—
Next week — cereal or oatmeal? You’d be surprised just how people vote.
Comments