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  • Paul Davidson

There Are No Airbags In My Car

It’s obvious to me we’ve all been scammed.

As you drive your airbag-equipped car around your little cities and towns, I’m sure you look to your steering wheel and your passenger’s side glove compartment and notice those neat little “Airbag Equipped” notices. They tell you about how you shouldn’t put kids up there for fear of getting hurt by the airbag when it blows up and blah blah blah.

I don’t believe there are any airbags in any of our cars, FYI.

Ask a dealer to show you one. They’ll say it will void out the airbag warranty. Call up your car company and ask them to describe exactly what it’s supposed to look like. Hell, jam a switchblade in your steering wheel. No airbag. No nothing.

I was driving past the scene of an accident that happened at that very moment one-day, and there were no deployed airbags. Have you ever actually seen an airbag deploy, other than in slow-motion on Dateline NBC or some other primetime news program? (I didn’t think so.)

When have you ever before, in your life, paid for something that you were not allowed to see before you bought it? When you buy a car you’re able to open the hood, look at the engine, examine the trunk space and test out all the hoo-dads and hummalings… But the air-bags? Nope. You can see pictures of them in all their glory with their neat-little stichings and puffy-features…but not the actual airbags.

You can see a video of them opening, sure. But actually SEE them? Nope.

I have uncovered something sinister, my friends. SINISTER.

In other news, I find myself unsure how to feel about reaching 20,000+ hits on WFME since our move to Typepad in mid February of this year. I hope you’re just as indifferent about it as I am.

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