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  • Paul Davidson

Obsessive Compulsive Star Sighters

If you’ve looked in any “star” magazine lately (People, US, National Enquirer, The Star, In Touch, etc) you’ve probably come across these (hilarious) pages that show stars doing what is described as every day things. In fact, these magazines actually come out and print headlines to the effect of…

Stars Are Just Like You! They Do Real Things Like Wash Their Laundry and Pick Up Their Kids From School!!!

Then, there are pictures like:

George Clooney eating ice cream: “George Clooney actually eats dairy products, without the help of a food taster!”

Maria Bello and William H. Macy getting out of a car at the Premiere of The Cooler: “Maria Bello and William H. Macy actually swing their feet out of the limo first, then put pressure on them to stand up like real, everyday people!”

Meg Ryan putting on lipstick: “Meg Ryan covers up her botox scars with Clinique lip balm, just like all the other post-op patients with bad plastic surgery scars around America!”

Matthew Perry smokes a cigarette: “Matthew Perry blackens his lungs and reduces the amount of years he’s going to live, just like millions of everyday people!

Obviously, I’m taking it to the extreme, but it’s just silly how these papparazzi go out and try to get our favorite stars doing normal things like walking, eating, jogging, bending down to pick up loose change and other crazy normal things. Are we, as a country, this obsessed to see our favorite “untouchables” in normal everyday situations? Apparently so, due to the circulation of these so-called magazines.

That’s why I would like to suggest to these magazines that they catch “stars” in some of the following “everyday” situations, in an attempt to really prove that they are just like us. Some ideas:

At a “We Cash Checks” Store

Having to run out to a meter every hour to keep putting in quarters.

Being the butt of an office joke that both humiliates and demoralizes.

Locking themselves, accidentally, in a GAP dressing room.

and

Arguing with the mailman, who refuses to leave packages without a signature.

(Ed. note: These are just thoughts… A work in progress, mind you.)

I did happen to see Matthew Perry smoking a cigarette recently; that wasn’t a lie. I was at BUZZ Coffee up on Sunset Boulevard and he had a group of smoking friends hovering around him like little buzzing bees. I just sat there, pretending to read my book and watching the scenario as wannabe actors tried to casually make their way to King Perry, offering him a smoke, offering to light his smoke and marveling at the fact that Matthew Perry was actually smoking a cigarette…just like a real everyday person.

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