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  • Paul Davidson

I Have Locked My Laptop To A Chair

Laptops are serious business.

I, personally, have my entire life on my laptop. From banking statistics to screenplays and all my writing to games and e-mail and pictures and music. If it were to ever be taken from me, I would be devastated. And that is why I purchased a handy-dandy, state-of-the-art, lock thing.

I’m sure you’ve seen the one I’m talking about. It’s got a long unbreakable wire cord that you can wrap around anything — and the end of it is one of those combination locks. It fits right into the side of your laptop (they’re now made with these holes on the sides of the laptop) and it locks in place. Y

Yet, I have a few problems with it.

1. Really, how well reinforced is this tiny little hole on the side if your laptop? I suspect I could, if I wanted, just bend and break the combo-lock end of my “security system” out of the hole and run away with my laptop.

2. Quite honestly, what the hell do you wrap this wire around?

I’m sitting in my hotel room the first night I arrived in Dallas staring wildly around my room. There’s absolutely nothing that I can attach the wire to that can’t just be slid right off. For example – there’s a table with legs, yet all you’d have to do is lift up the table and slide off the lassoed wire. How about the bed? The TV stand? The doorknob? There was nothing, people. I’m telling you. Nothing.

So I have my expensive computer laptop tied and locked around a chair. In a moment of panic, having to be somewhere, yet not wanting my laptop to be stolen, I attached the damn lock to a chair.

A wooden chair.

You know that moment where you try to convince your mind of something you know is probably, most-likely, a stupid idea? That was me, at that moment, telling myself that no matter if someone tried to steal my laptop, they’d have to drag the damn chair with them everywhere they went. And seriously, any hotel staff member walking down the hall with a chair and a laptop attached to it would SO get stopped.

On my way up to my room tonight I spotted three different staff members dragging chairs behind them and no one batted an eye.

Yup.

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