I Can Vouch For Frank Whaley
As one of Frank Whaley’s closest friends, I am here to settle the score once and for all and tell you that no matter how many movies this amazing guy has done and no matter how infrequent his roles have been over the last decade or so, I can so vouch for this guy to the point of vouching the mostest that any man has vouched for his best-friend/actor buddy in the entire history of the world’s existence.
Sure, people always stop me while I’m waiting for Frank to buy us a round of beers at the local watering hole and they say to me, “Hey, isn’t that the guy from that movie with Jennifer Connelly where she’s rollerskating around a Target store with a really tight top on?” It’s right about that point where I don’t even give them the time of day because if you can’t refer to it by it’s real name (Career Opportunities) which also included such actors as Dermot Mulroney, then hell, you have no right to ask me what Frankie is doing these days or how much fun he had acting alongside Miss. Academy Award herself.
There are others who come up to me and ask about his other films like Joe the King or his smaller roles in movies like Hoffa. They wonder why the “Whaley-man” hasn’t done much since those movies. I keep telling them, in my vouchery way, that Frankie has been doing movies since then. But he’s been doing more artistic movies. Movies that allow him to stretch his acting muscles like he did alongside Kevin Spacey in Swimming with Sharks. Like that scene where he’s tied up Spacey and he’s about to pour lemon juice down his face where he’s given his boss a face full of paper cuts. Now that’s, I always say, called acting.
People often pull me aside to ask gingerly just what happened to Frank Whaley. People tell me they often use his name as a “stumper” in a game of movie trivia. People ask if Frank is happy with his current acting career and his life. That’s where I stand up (if I was sitting) or sit down (if I was standing) and vouch for Frank Whaley with all my might. That’s where I earn my salary as Official Voucher for Frank Whaley.
I know what you’re thinking. What a fool, getting paid to go around defending the honour (not honor) of one Mr. Frank Whaley. Well, you should know that I accept no funds as an official voucher. I do it all from the heart. All from the place where I was once entertained by this powerhouse performer. Frank Whaley is a wonder and a stunning actor whose time once was and will once again, rise high.
I can vouch for Frank Whaley, and it’s not because I can… It’s because I want to.