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  • Paul Davidson

A Dramatic Story Where Details and People’s Names Have Been Changed to Ambiguous Initials and

You still wouldn’t believe it even if I was sitting next to you telling you the story with the same kind of excited look I have on my face as I’m writing it.

Father-Time totally stopped a robbery.

It was me, KB, Gooch, Father-Time, Little Italy, RN, DS-56 and The Quirky One. We were all sitting out at the “chain-linked eatery” talking about Crap-head and Elementary-Our-Dear-Watson. The thing is, Little Italy and RN are always talking behind Crap-head’s back and I don’t know if it’s the healthiest thing ever, but fortunately you’ve always got me and KB trying to keep everyone in line. You don’t want the same thing happening that happened last year at 10-10-220, where DS-56 went missing for like a year (exaggerating, of course) with her newfound mack-buddy, The Un-symmetrical Face.

Nonetheless, after the waiter (The Green Thumb) dropped off the bread and the butter and the water with lemon (thanks Quirky One), we got to talking about politics and Candidate #1 and Candidate #2 and how Candidate #1’s, Running Mate #1 was so much better than Candidate #2’s Running Mate #2. It was a heated conversation that sort of pissed off Gooch — who can’t stand talking about that kind of stuff because (even though he won’t say it), the Elder-Gooch has soured the world of politics for him ever since he voted for Independent Candidate #1A.

In the background, out of nowhere, there’s this commotion.

All of us turn around and see this weird-frenetic-looking guy pushing past staff and knocking over a table or two while The Green Thumb and Master of the Universe are chasing after him. There, obviously, was something not right going on.

“Holy crap,” Father-Time said. “It’s a robbery!”

Me, KB and The Quirky One thought Father-Time was kidding until we heard the cries and shouts of despair scream out from the proprietor and his helper-bees. And it was right about then, that weird-frenetic-looking guy is approaching our table.

It all happened in slow-mo.

Father-Time, like he was getting up to simply go to the loo, just casually sticks out his foot in the way of that weird-frenetic-looking guy’s pathway and he goes crashing to the floor at Gooch’s feet. It knocked him down long enough for Green Thumb to totally grab him, and keep him on ice until the coppers arrived.

For Me, Gooch, Father-Time, Little Italy, RN, DS-56, The Quirky One, The Green Thumb, Master of the Universe and that weird-frenetic-looking guy/robber — it was a moment none of us would forget. Of course, don’t ask Bee Keeper about it — he’ll tell you, although he wasn’t even there, that none of it ever happened.

But then again, Bee Keeper is a killjoy.

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